


I'll Take a Swing At It!

by Spiderlily_Writes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: AU: Byleth teaches the BE and GD. Manuela can have the BL or something, Also the E rating doesn't come in for a chapter or two at least, Background Lorenz/Claude, D/s, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hilda is a brat and I love her, Hurt/Comfort, I am going to add them as I go, Kinda?, M/M, PWP this is not, Pre- and Post- Timeskip, Probably Back to Enemies, Slow Burn, The axe girl hatemance is too good of a thing not to play with, There will be more characters eventually, this gets kinky, to lovers again, violence in chapter 10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiderlily_Writes/pseuds/Spiderlily_Writes
Summary: Hilda and Edelgard have a friendly rivalry. They're also annoyingly, infuriatingly attracted to each other. It goes about like one would expect. How will their relationship shape them, and the future of Fodlan? Who can say?
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 75
Kudos: 106





	1. In which Hilda's ego gets forcibly deflated.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brooklynapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynapple/gifts).



> Dedicated to @quorniya on twitter for putting the idea in my head.

It was arrival day at Garreg Mach monastery, the thirty-first day of the Lone Moon, and Hilda was bored out of her mind. Her family’s retainers were handling all the minutiae of moving her into her new dormitory (which was not  _ nearly _ large enough, but  _ whatever _ ), and that was certainly a good thing, but it did mean that while all of the other new students were busy directing or even  _ assisting _ (gross) with the move, she was stuck with nobody to talk to and nothing to do. Even Claude was busy with some “house leader” something-or-other, and she was usually able to goof off with him, failing all else. So she decided to wander.

Hilda made her way from the dormitories where she had been nominally supervising her own move-in, to the dining hall. She had heard from some big blonde guy who could probably have swallowed her whole that they were open to serve the students, and she figured some sweets or pastries might help occupy her time. 

The smells in the dining hall were absolutely wonderful, and she could already tell she was going to enjoy being able to stop in whenever she wanted. Her family’s kitchens were active on demand, sure, but they weren’t constantly churning out delicious meals and snacks for an entire academy’s worth of people. She approached the counter, made polite small talk with the lady working there, did a little flattering, a little batting of eyelashes, and ended up walking away to sit at one of the tables holding a tray containing a veritable sampler platter of cakes, cookies, and other small, tasty treats.

“Did you hear Edelgard von Hresvelg is attending this year?” asked a student behind her, excitedly. “She’s supposedly the leader of the Black Eagle house.”

“No! But isn’t crown prince Dimitri here too?” replied another, presumably a friend of the first.

“Yes, and Claude von Riegan of the Alliance!”

“No way! All three heirs are going to be at the Academy at the same time? That sounds...dangerous.”

“Well,of course it is, but…” the first student trailed off, beginning to speak too quietly for Hilda, quite the experienced eavesdropper, to make out. All three of them, eh? She had known about Claude, but she didn’t care enough about politics to try to figure out who the leaders of the other two houses would be. She was there to finish her studies and go home, where she belonged. 

Even Hilda had to admit, though, that having all three of them around was going to be interesting. She wondered what kind of people they were. She’d heard Dimitri was strong, and pretty, and she thought she had managed to catch a glimpse of him earlier in the day, but she couldn’t be sure. And Edelgard? Well, she’d never met anyone involved with the Adrestian government who didn’t walk around like they had a lance and a half shoved up their arse, so she was relatively confident that, actually, she didn’t care all that much about what kind of person Edelgard was. Probably some whiny little priss who expected others to do her fighting for her. Unlike Hilda, of course, who was both beautiful  _ and  _ competent. She didn’t even know what Edelgard looked like, and she was more than content to keep it that way for as long as possible.

After wrapping up her meal, she deposited her tray on the rack by the door and headed out to continue to wander the monastery. She passed by the pond and greenhouse, where she saw a few people who were probably other students milling about. She did stop at the marketplace by the gates, but the stalls were mostly selling weapons and armor and other boring things she didn’t need, so she passed them by without so much as a second glance.

She headed up the path, past some gardens that looked like they would be perfect to take cover in if she needed to get away from...something. Like faculty that wouldn’t leave her alone about pitching in with mundane things like ‘chores’ and ‘upkeep’ that she had heard students were required to take part in. Unbelievable, Hilda thought, that her family would pay to send her here and she would be expected to do chores. 

A few more buildings full of nothing important and a couple of hallways rife with musty smells and old tapestries, and she was on the other side of the monastery campus. She was beginning to get tired of the aimless wandering, and wanted somewhere she could sit down and relax for a little bit. There was a sign marked ‘training grounds’ with an arrow pointing to a path that she supposed must lead somewhere currently unused, considering most students were only just arriving. 

And so, Hilda found herself in the sparring area, perched on a ledge that gave her a good view of the space. It was quite simple, really, just an open stone courtyard, ringed with a hallway full of racks of training weapons. There was enough open space in the hall that people could safely watch any fighting that occurred, and she imagined that she might find herself down here watching Claude beat the snot out of some underprepared, overconfident student who had affronted her. It was a nice thought.

She was startled from her reverie after about twenty minutes of quiet contemplation by the sound of the door behind her swinging open. Hilda turned to get a good look at the new arrivals and saw a small group of people step into the room. Since nobody knew yet who anyone else was, each of the students was wearing a small badge that denoted their house, and Hilda noticed that of the three people in the group, two men and one woman, all of them were wearing red ones.

The first man was tall and hawkish, with dark hair, high cheekbones, and an unflinchingly stiff and formal demeanor. It was enough to make Hilda roll her eyes, she couldn’t  _ stand _ people like that. But it made sense, after all, being Adrestian. He  _ would  _ be a self-important arsehole. He was muttering something quietly to another man, who was flanking the woman on her other side. 

The second was a little shorter than the first, but still pretty tall, with orange hair and an easy smile. He seemed pretty full of himself as well, but less so than the evil-looking guy. He laughed at something, and Hilda smiled, finding his confidence infectious. Maybe that one wasn’t so bad. Or maybe he was just handsome and Hilda was easily swayed. One or the other.

The woman leading up the group had remained silent thus far, and Hilda stared at her as she walked past. She was gorgeous, one of the most beautiful women Hilda had ever seen. She carried herself imperiously, as though she were marching to war, rather than the training fields at the academy, and her boots made a distinct and regular clicking noise on the stone as she did. She had long, immaculate, platinum blonde hair and beautiful, pale violet eyes that were strikingly intense, even for the scant second Hilda was able to catch a glimpse of them. A mental image of the woman grabbing Hilda by the front of her shirt and yanking her close came unbidden to her mind’s eye, and she shoved it away quickly. Wouldn’t do to get a crush on someone from another house before the first day of class had even begun. 

The three of them reached the hall on the opposite side of the door they came in from, and opposite where Hilda had been sitting. All three of them had initially overlooked her, but as soon as they passed by, the taller man leaned in and whispered something urgently to the woman in front. The two of them turned to look at Hilda, the man’s hand snapping to his waist where she could see he had a dagger belted on. Her eyes widened.

“Stand down, Hubert,” the woman demanded. “She’s a student.”

“Apologies, my lady,” the man replied, moving his hand away from the dagger but not relaxing his posture. The shorter man turned as well, but he remained relaxed with that same casual confidence, as he had heard the woman before he saw Hilda. She had spoken with such authority that it sent a shiver down Hilda’s spine. Yeah, dammit, she was into it. 

“Uh. Hello? Can I help you three?” Hilda asked, irritated at the implied threat from the brooding, standoffish man. She hadn’t come here to be stared at and threatened, especially by someone who looked as though they were trying to be typecast as the villain in an opera.

“You should leave. This is a private conversation,” the man, Hubert, said. “And I do not think you wish to incur my lady’s ire.”

“Incur her...what? Why are you talking like that?” she asked, frowning. He spoke like they were in court, or church.

“I must apologize for Hubert,” the woman began, “but I must also ask you to please leave. It is difficult to find a place to have a private conversation here today, and I am afraid it’s business that really must be attended to as soon as possible.”

Hilda bristled. Who did she think she was, ordering other students around like that? It didn’t matter what kind of noble something-or-other she was, it was disrespectful! She crossed her arms. “I don’t think I will,” she said, stubbornly. “I’ve decided I kind of like this place. You should go have your conversation somewhere else.”

The orange-haired man cocked an eyebrow and looked at Hubert, who flicked his eyes in that direction but didn’t address him any further. “My lady, please allow me to handle this insolent-”

“ _ Hubert!  _ Enough.” she said, and the way she said it set Hilda’s hair standing on end. Wonderful. She had developed a crush on a domineering noble brat who also happened to be really, really hot when she got loud. She turned back to Hilda “While I understand you may wish to remain here, I really have to insist, since you don’t appear to be making use of any of the equipment.”

“Oh, but I was just about to,” said Hilda, now feeling the urge to be contrary just to get on their nerves. She hopped down from the ledge and walked to a rack nearby, grabbing a wooden practice axe and beginning to twirl it in her hand. “See? What, are you going to have one of your two lackeys here toss me out of this public space that I am  _ very clearly _ using?” 

Hubert snorted. “You probably don’t even know how to use that, put it back and leave before you hurt yourself.”

The other man spoke up, finally. “I really think you should-”

“Actually, I have a better idea,” said the woman, interrupting. “If you’re so determined to practice, let me help you.” She strode over to another rack, grabbing an axe identical to Hilda’s. “Spar with me. If you win, we’ll leave and go elsewhere. If you lose, you do. Does that sound equitable?”

Ordinarily, Hilda would never have accepted a challenge this close to having eaten, or ever, at all, actually. But these three had gotten on her nerves, and she felt that it would be appropriate to show them why House Goneril was known as the fist of the Alliance. “You know what? Yeah, okay. That works.” Then she added, almost as an afterthought, “what’s your name, anyways? So I know who I’m beating up.”

The woman cracked a barely restrained smile. “I am Edelgard von Hresvelg,” she said simply, and Hilda paled slightly, some of the wind gone out of her metaphorical sails. Oh, great. So it wasn’t even the first day of class and Hilda had already managed to insult the heir to the Adrestian Empire. Nothing to do but press forward, she supposed, hoping she wasn’t about to cause a diplomatic incident that Claude wouldn’t be able to smooth over.

“Right. Hilda Valentine Goneril, at your service,” she replied, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Hubert initially hesitated, but after Edelgard shot him a look, he stepped back, along with the other guy, to stand out of the central courtyard.

Hilda and Edelgard moved in to face each other, standing about ten paces apart. Hilda adopted a fighting stance, getting ready to move as soon as she was given the signal. Edelgard did the same, although Hilda noticed that she stood just a little bit taller, and rather than wielding her practice axe in two hands like most fighters would, she held it in one. Despite them being wooden axes, they were still relatively heavy, and the ease with which Edelgard handled hers made Hilda just a little bit nervous.

“Ferdinand, would you be so kind as to call the fight?” Edelgard asked, looking over at her companions. The other man, Ferdinand, nodded and stepped forward to where he had a clear view of the combatants.

“The fight will be to the first blow landed on the body of the opponent. Ready?” he began, raising one hand, and both women nodded. “Lay on!” he called out, and stepped back just a little to be out of range.

Before Hilda had time to think, Edelgard had stepped forward one, then two steps, her boots clicking firmly against the stone. She moved with the grace and finesse of a dancer as she approached Hilda, holding the axe in one hand as though it were naught more than a twig she had picked up on a walk. She spun the axe backward in her hand, then flicked her wrist back and stepped forward once more, swinging the axe directly for Hilda’s torso. 

Hilda yelped and choked up on her own axe, using the haft to parry Edelgard’s strike, but the force of the blow alone was almost enough to make her lose her grip on her weapon. She could swear that she could see a cocky smile on the other woman’s face, and there was a fire in her eyes that wasn’t there a moment earlier. Hilda danced backward, trying to get her bearings again, and Edelgard continued to approach, whirling her axe like a baton. 

She kept pace with Hilda, not giving her a chance to stop and recover. Hit after hit came within inches of landing, and Hilda was just barely able to dodge out of the way. She knew she couldn’t parry another blow, it would likely be enough to knock her off her feet since she was already being kept off balance. Hilda was used to being able to win a sparring match with overwhelming force. Being so small and delicate was extremely helpful when it came to making people underestimate her, but Edelgard had made no such mistake. She was relentless, like an oncoming storm. So Hilda tried a different tactic.

Rather than continue to retreat, she waited until Edelgard’s axe had passed in front of her and Edelgard was quickly recovering to swing again, then dove forward and to the side Edelgard wasn’t holding her weapon in. Hilda suspected she usually held a shield in that hand, since she was using her axe one-handed, and therefore wouldn’t be used to defending it. Hilda used the momentum of her dive to bring the axe hurtling in hard, shouting in exhilaration. She was about to land a hit, she was so close, she was going to-

Something hit Hilda in the side, below her ribs, with what felt like the force of a runaway cart. It was enough to swat her out of the air like a cat would swat at a bird, and she went careening off her intended path to land on the ground several feet away. The wind was immediately knocked out of her as she landed with a painful thump and rolled several times before coming to a stop. She lost her grip on her axe, too, which flew out of her hand to places unknown, skittering across the stone. 

Hilda had never been hit so hard in her life. She’d seen a few battles with her brother Holst, sure, and had taken a few glancing blows to her armor, but nothing had ever slammed into her with that kind of overpowering, unrelenting force. She cried out in agony and squeezed her eyes shut, curling in on herself. Hilda felt searing pain, nausea, and lightheadedness all at once, and she tried to suck in breaths that all felt too shallow. Somewhere, vaguely, she heard something wooden clatter to the ground a few paces away, and the thump of approaching boots.

There was a hand on her, turning her over, and she opened her eyes to look into the face of Edelgard, who had immediately come to where Hilda was laying on the ground. Her head was swimming, but once she managed to get her thoughts in order, she realized Edelgard was saying something.

“Wh..uh?” Hilda asked, once she felt like she could breathe again. Her side felt like it had been kicked by a horse, but she was able to speak a little.

“I asked if you’re alright,” Edelgard said, “but you’re talking, so I think you’ll be okay. You have my apologies, I didn’t mean to hit you nearly as hard as I did, but you were so close to me.”

Hilda put on the best scowl she could manage and fixed it directly on Edelgard. “Oh, sure,” she wheezed. “How sporting. Just had to come brag about how hard you could hit. Well I could have taken harder!” She was lying, of course, but the only thing more damaged than her side (and by the goddess, that was going to be a nasty bruise) was her pride. She was not used to losing, and she was galled that it would happen here, today, with witnesses.

“What? I wasn’t…” it took a moment for her words to register for Edelgard, but the other woman frowned down at her. “I was trying to see if you were alright, but you’re clearly fine,” she said, barely masking her irritation. “Unbelievable,” she added with a frown, crossing her arms and looking away. “Ferdinand, would you please help her to the infirmary?”

Another wave of nausea wracked Hilda’s body as she tried to stand, and she ended up squatting and leaning against the wall. She moaned, which drew Edelgard’s attention to her again. “Are you certain you’re actually okay? I don’t want to have to worry about you being injured.”

She felt it coming before it happened. If Hilda had been less furious, she would have considered her activities immediately before coming to the training grounds, but she had been too incensed to do so. Eating a tray full of cakes and pastries immediately before fighting someone and taking a gutshot wasn’t her smartest idea ever.

And so, Hilda Valentine Goneril opened her mouth and spilled her lunch directly onto the future Emperor’s boots.


	2. In which Hilda, for once, finds herself speechless.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several months at the academy, Hilda finally decides to do something about Edelgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for commenting on, reading, and leaving kudos for the last chapter. Y'all make me feel valid as hell. Also, this takes place in a slightly alternate universe where Byleth is responsible for the Black Eagles AND Golden Deer, because it's MY fic and I get to pick the concessions for the sake of making the plot work. IDK, maybe Hanneman decided to take a sabbatical.

_ About 3 Months Later _

“I just don’t see where she gets off acting like she’s a- Claude, are you even  _ listening _ to me?” Hilda demanded, looking over at him from his bed where she was laying. 

Claude was sitting at the small desk in his room going over historical battle records for class, as he had been for the last hour. She grabbed one of his pillows from under her head and threw it at him as he turned around to look at her. He dodged it deftly, but it slammed into the desk and very nearly knocked over his inkwell, which he grabbed at the last possible second. 

“Yes Hilda, I’m listening, but you know this is all stuff you’ve told me before, right? It feels like at least once a week, Edelgard does something that sets you off. At which point, you come marching to my room, pull me inside, slam the door, and yell for a good couple of hours about how infuriating she is.” Claude sighed and turned fully around to face Hilda, who was at that moment sitting up on his bed with her arms crossed, pouting.

“That’s because you’re my best friend and that’s what besties  _ do _ . They listen to each other bitch about stuff! How many times have you told me about how much you want to strangle Lorenz?”

“That’s different!” Claude insisted. “We have history!”

“You courted him for like three weeks and broke it off when he wouldn’t stop talking about his father, that doesn’t count as  _ history _ .” Hilda shot back, sticking out her tongue.

“Low blow, brat,” he replied, flicking a wad of paper at her, which bounced off her nose. “You’re eventually just going to have to handle this like an adult, you know. Just go talk to her.”

“If you had been paying even a little bit of attention, you would know exactly why I can’t do that!”

“What, because she’s hot?”

“Yes! Because she’s hot!” Hilda confirmed, throwing her arms out. “Don’t you get it? I can’t just like... _ talk _ to hot people-”

“Ouch,” Claude said, snorting.

“Oh suck it up. I can’t talk to her because every time I try, she does that annoying little smirk that she always does, and puts her hands on her hips, and looks me in the eye like-”

“Hilda. I don’t care whether you beat her up or have sex with her, but you need to do one or the other before you pop like a little pink balloon,” he interrupted. “Seriously, you’re carrying around way too much tension for your own good, and you almost took Lorenz’s head off during weapons practice the other day. I  _ suspect _ you were thinking about Edelgard when you whipped that practice axe at his temple like he was an overripe watermelon.”

Hilda turned progressively more red as Claude spoke, and when he finished, she flopped down on the bed and yelled into his pillow until her breath was gone. She looked back up at him, still flushed pink.

“Have  _ sex  _ with her? Are you kidding me Claude? I can’t even talk to her and you’re telling me I should fuck my worst enemy?”

“Your worst enemy? Now you’re just being dramatic.” He rolled his eyes at her. “But yes, you should. It’ll help. And the belligerent sexual tension between the two of you is so thick that I could cut it with a knife. I’m pretty sure she wants it as much as you do.”

“Wants it? The only thing she wants to do is push me over, step on me, and make me admit that she’s better.”

“Hot.”

“Not like that!”

There was a pause, before Hilda spoke again.

“Maybe a little like that! But only a little!”

“RIght. So, remind me what she even did that set you off this time,” Claude said. “Take it from the beginning.”

“Well, I didn’t do that last essay that the professor assigned, on account of it being boring and dumb, and I couldn’t bribe Ignatz or Marianne to do it for me, so I got stuck cleaning out the stables,” she began.

“Okay, so far, seems like you made your own bed on this one.”

“Shut up! Anyways, I was cleaning out the stables, and it was smelly and gross and I hated it, and I didn’t even have anyone to help me. And Edelgard and that creepy pet mage of hers, Hubert, walked by and saw me through the window before I had a chance to hide.”

  
“Yeah, and then what did she do?” Claude asked, with exaggerated interest, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands.

“She rolled her eyes and snorted at me!” 

“And then?”

“That’s it! She just kept walking!”

“You came into my room, laid on my bed, and yelled incoherently about ‘that stupid royal dweeb’ and ‘her stupid perfect hair’ and ‘dumb pretty eyes’, and how she thinks she’s better than you, and how she’s a walking standoffish blue blooded superiority complex, because she rolled her eyes at you,” he reiterated. “Just making sure I got this right.”

“And snorted! Do you seriously not see how annoying she is?” Hilda asked, exasperated.

“I mean, I guess that’s a little bit annoying, but I don’t see why you’re all twisted up about it, other than being horny for a tough woman and bad at understanding your own emotions,” he said, a smirk slowly making its way to his face.

Hilda growled and leapt off the bed, his other pillow in hand, and began to batter him about the head and chest with it while he laughed harder and harder, making a token effort to stop her. She kept at it for a good minute or so, and eventually, panting and puffing, she dropped the pillow and sat back down on the edge of the bed, elbows on her knees, chin on her hands.

“You feel better, shortstack?” he asked, wiping tears from his eyes. She glared at him. 

“A little.”

“So what are you going to do?” Claude sat back in his chair and laced his fingers together in his lap, the perfect picture of a good listener.

“I know exactly what I’m going to do!” Hilda said, as if the idea were just occurring to her. “I’m going to follow your advice. I’m going to march right over to her room, I’m going to pound on the door until she answers, and I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!”

“Okay, no, hold on, I didn’t tell you to ‘give her a piece of your mind’, I told you to-”

“Too late, Claude! My mind is made up. This ends here and now. Today. No more losing to her during combat practice because I’m too distracted to fight. No more stuttering or stammering. No more of any of that! I’m going to tell her she’s a huge bitch and I want her to stop picking on me, and that I find it very unbecoming of a lady of her status!” Hilda declared confidently. “And we can finally have this over and done with.”

Before Claude could say another word, she stood up, nodded to him in thanks, and strode out the door of his room.

He sighed, and turned back to his studying. He figured he’d be able to get a few pages done, at least, before Hilda got back.

Hilda, for her part, felt confident. Deliberate heavy steps fueled by the fire of a young woman who was fed up with this nonsense carried her directly down the way to Edelgard’s room, four doors down from Claude’s. 

She braced herself, gathered up every ounce of righteous fury she could into her tiny pink frame, and rapped on the door three times with her fist.

“Edelgard! Come out, I need to have a word with you.” There was a brief pause.

“Hilda? Is that you? I really don’t have the time right now, can it wait?” Hilda was stunned. How  _ dare  _ she blow Hilda off like that? Just who did she think she was, anyways? Future Emperor of Adrestia or not, Hilda was  _ not _ accustomed to being told ‘no’.

“Edelgard! If you don’t answer this door, I’m coming in there. No, this absolutely can’t wait! Face me you coward!” She knocked on the door twice more. By now a few other students had poked their heads out of their bedrooms to see what the fuss was about, and Hilda smirked. Fine, let them see. Let them  _ all  _ see the reaming Hilda was about to give that high-and-mighty hoity-toity Emperor Edelgard Von Tightass.

“Fine, Hilda, if you insist!” called an irritated voice from inside. “But this had better be important!”

Hilda smiled smugly as she heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door, and it swung open to reveal…

Edelgard Von Hresvelg. In a towel that covered her just enough to be decent, but still showed a good amount of cleavage and a scandalous amount of leg. Her face and body were red and flushed, and there was a thin sheen of sweat on her body that glistened in the late afternoon sun, which only accentuated her powerfully muscled arms and legs. Edelgard’s hair was mussed ever so slightly, and she cocked an eyebrow at Hilda, who was considering all the things that one might do with another that would leave them looking like Edelgard did in that moment..

“I just got back from the sauna with the professor. I was about to get dressed, but clearly, whatever it is you have to say takes precedence, so speak. Come on, out with it, and don’t waste my time.” Edelgard said, clearly annoyed, tapping one finger against her arm. She waited.

Hilda’s brain shut down completely. She looked down at Edelgard’s legs, noticing her powerful calves and toned thighs. She saw the other woman’s arms, the sculpted beauty contrasting with her long, slender fingers. She tried very very hard not to look at Edelgard’s chest, but she failed, and Edelgard clearly saw her eyes flick downward.

“My eyes are up here, Miss Goneril,” she said, bluntly, pointing to her face with the hand that wasn’t holding her towel closed. “If you need a minute to process what you would like to say, rather than ogle me like a lecher on the side of the street, I can go get dressed and we can talk like civilized people.”

She felt heat rising in her face, and she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again, and barely managed to squeak out a “...weh?” before failing miserably again. Hilda looked out at the other people watching the confrontation and then back at Edelgard.

There was a moment of silence as the two women watched each other, and Hilda’s lip began to quiver, though whether it was from rage or nervousness, nobody would be able to say.

Edelgard rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable. Go away, Hilda,” she said, shutting the door in the other girl’s face. It took Hilda a moment to recover and get her bearings again. She turned to the onlookers, putting her hand on the (mostly ornamental) shortsword belted onto her waist as part of her uniform.

“What are you staring at?” she yelled, belligerently, stomping back down to Claude’s room. People slid back into their rooms and closed the doors as she passed, she noted with some satisfaction. Good. They should. She was tough, and intimidating, and not to be messed with.

Hilda threw open Claude’s door and stormed back inside. “Claude von Riegan, you will not  _ believe _ what just happened!”

Claude sighed sadly, put his notes away, and mentally wrote off today as one where he would not be completing any work of note. “Close the door and tell me about it, Hilda,” he said, putting his head in his hands. It was going to be a long evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me on twitter, @spiderlilywrite!


	3. In which Hilda gets blown away.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of the Eagle and Lion is a perfect chance for Hilda to knock Edelgard down off her pedestal. Or so she believes.

_3 Months Later_

Claude finished strapping Hilda’s armor on to her, and stood back to admire his handiwork. “Looking good, shortstack. You’re going to go be a holy terror on that battlefield today, I just know it,” he said, thumping her on one heavily armored shoulder, making a clanking sound. She groaned. 

“Do I _have_ to? Are you sure I can’t just like...cheer you on from the sidelines?” she asked grumpily. 

Claude sighed a deep, burdened sigh. “Cheer me on from the sidelines, at the Battle of the Eagle and Lion? The one big one? The battle where we demonstrate everything we’ve learned for glory and rewards? You want to sit out of _this battle_?”

“Yeah!”

“No, absolutely not. Come on, we need somebody to match Edelgard and Dedue, and you’re the only one I can think of to get it done. Letting you sit out would kneecap my entire strategy. Don’t tell me you aren’t looking for a chance to square up with Edelgard.”

Hilda chewed her lip. “Alright, fine, but you’re really twisting my arm here. And I get first dibs on Edelgard.” 

Claude laughed out loud. “I figured that would do it. She’s all yours. I’ll try to clear you a path so you can go in and take her out. The Eagles’ll drop like flies once you do.” Hilda nodded, trying to focus. 

It had been another long three months of bitter rivalry with Edelgard von Hresvelg. Or, at least, it had been three months of Hilda trying to one-up Edelgard while getting the distinct feeling that Edelgard barely noticed she was there. From that first day where she’d gotten beaten on the sparring grounds, she’d been trying to make an impression on the imperial heir, but every time she tried, she just ended up making a fool of herself. It had been a long string of embarrassing coincidences, botched confrontations, and lost sparring matches, and she was getting tired of it.

This time, though, she was reasonably certain that she would be able to get her revenge.

She spent the next quarter hour helping Claude do armor and weapon checks on the rest of the Golden Deer students, and made some idle chitchat with Marianne. The girl was too sweet for her own good, Hilda thought to herself, but she was probably the second best friend she had at the school. Sure, there were the other Golden Deer girls, Leonie and Lysythia, but Leonie was too _driven_ , always wanting to do things and train and fight and...ugh. No thanks. And Lysythia creeped her out for reasons she couldn’t really articulate. Probably the dark magic. 

Of the men, Lorenz was almost up his own ass enough to be Adrestian, and she wasn’t really sure what Claude had seen in the guy, other than him being admittedly really pretty. Ignatz was kind of a nerd, and Raphael didn’t think of much but food. 

“Hey, Marianne, you nervous?” Hilda asked, tossing her axe up on her shoulder and making a show of it. Never hurt to try to impress a pretty girl, and unlike Edelgard, Marianne actually seemed to appreciate her. 

“Oh, well, sort of,” Marianne said with a soft little sigh. “I’m just grateful there are really brave people like you who don’t mind going out in front. I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty scary out there, but I’m not too worried. Especially when I’ve got you backing me up!” Hilda winked at her, and Marianne blushed.

“I’m really not-”

“Don’t you even!” Hilda interrupted, before Marianne could talk down on herself. “In fact, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have keeping an eye on me to make sure I don’t get too beat up.”

Marianne smiled weakly. “Thanks Hilda.”

“No problem.”

The horn sounded, letting the class know that it was time for battle, and Hilda groaned once more. “Guess we have to get going. Catch you after, Mari!”

Hilda took off running.

The beginning of the battle wasn’t really anything to worry about. In addition to the officers, there were battalions and secondary forces, and Hilda was able to cleave her way through most of these with ease. Occasionally, one gave her trouble, but she could usually count on one of her classmates to back her up. She crossed the field, making her way as quickly as she could up the side that the Black Eagles occupied. 

She counted herself lucky for being mostly unhampered. It was as if the goddess herself was smiling down on her, but she knew it was more likely Claude creating a distraction so she could get behind their lines and take down Edelgard. He was nothing if not crafty, and she was truly thankful for the help. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to live with herself if someone took her down before she got to her target.

The first thing that brought her to a halt was a young man on a horse. Ferdinand. One of the three from her first day. She gritted her teeth and prepared to confront him as he blazed a trail headed straight for the rest of her group. Hilda wanted to give Edelgard a solid, thorough beating, but Ferdinand needed some humbling as well. Handsome face or no.

She stepped out in the path of his horse and raised her axe, calling out to him. “Ferdinand!” she shouted. “You’re not going anywhere, you pompous asshole!”

He looked down at her, pulling to the side as though he planned to pass her by entirely, but Hilda was ready for that. Quick as a whip, she reached down to her waist and grabbed a throwing axe (a training axe, but weighted properly, of course), and flung it directly at his head. She could see his eyes widen, and he yelped, dipping to the side and falling clear off his horse. 

Ferdinand hit the ground hard, with a resounding thump, and Hilda closed the distance as quickly as she could, laughing madly. She hadn’t really expected the axe throw to work, but she was glad it had, and she got to within six or seven paces of him before he managed to get up and grab his training spear. Hilda cast her eyes to the side and saw one of the Academy’s judges watching, nearby, ready to call the fight between the two of them.

“Hilda, are you out of your mind?” he demanded, stepping into a fighting stance to prepare for her. “You could have killed me!”

“Oh, don’t be a baby, I knew you’d be fine. Just had to get you down from your horse.” She flicked her head to the side, where the horse paced just out of their range, huffing loudly. “That was hardly a fair fight, you know?”

Ferdinand grunted and stepped in, trying to drive his spear at her stomach to knock her to the ground and let him finish her off. As soon as one of them landed a blow that would be fatal with real weapons, the other was expected to drop their weapon and remove themselves from the field as quickly as possible, and it was known that anyone who didn’t do so would be in a world of trouble.

Hilda swung her shield for the end of Ferdinand’s spear, and managed to deflect the blow with a solid, hollow thump that came from wood slamming into metal, but Ferdinand didn’t seem thrown off balance. He was practiced, and worked to maintain his range while throwing quick, probing strikes at Hilda. She managed to bat them away with her shield, and she knew that she was going to have the advantage in this fight due to the length of his weapon. She quickly dropped her large axe and flipped another handaxe off of the strap on her waist, then charged in past the tip of Ferdinand’s spear. That was the key with spearfighters, Hilda knew, you had to get right in close and hit them right in their pretty face.

She saw the surprise when she dropped her axe, and she had kept her small one hidden right behind her shield so she could catch him off guard when she went in for the kill. 

“Sorry Ferdie,” she said, and almost meant it. Hilda swung her handaxe in and smashed him cleanly in the chest, under his arm. Ferdinand grunted in pain from the impact, and fell to the side, hitting the ground. Hilda didn’t bother checking on the judge, she knew he saw, and she knew the hit was good. Really, he should have known better than to get in her way. “I’ve got to go mop the floor with your emperor now,” she teased as she dropped the short throwing weapon and picked up her axe. “Be good.”

Hilda kept moving, trying her best to stay behind cover whenever she was able to, as she didn’t want anyone to see her coming. She managed to get close to where Edelgard was giving commands from a watchpost, using runners to relay orders to the Black Eagles, and then to their squadrons. Smart idea. Ideally, the house leaders were supposed to stay out of the fight unless absolutely necessary, because ‘killing’ one of them would make it very difficult to keep the rest of their house on target. 

Edelgard was an excellent leader, even Hilda could admit that much, but she was also overconfident to the point of stupidity. She hadn’t left anyone behind to defend her, trusting her own martial prowess to be the first, and only, line of defense. She clearly thought that it would be best to have the maximum number of soldiers that she could on the front lines, because even Hubert appeared to be missing. Good. Of course, that meant nobody but a judge would see Hilda lay her out like she deserved, but it also meant that she wouldn’t have to worry about interlopers.

She waited until the runner speaking with Edelgard turned and left, speeding down and away from the elevated hill where the heiress stood. She approached, walking slowly and deliberately up the stone stairs leading to the watchpost, and she made sure that her armored boot slammed down on the first step with an audible crash. Sure enough, Edelgard looked down at her, and readied her axe.

“Hilda, what a surprise. I’m starting to wonder if you have some kind of obsession with me,” Edelgard teased, that evil little smirk finding its way to her lips. That only made Hilda angrier, and she continued to climb the stairs, holding her axe and shield at the ready in case Edelgard came in for a sucker punch. “Did you really circumvent the rest of the battle just because you wanted to come fight with me?’

“I couldn’t help it. I have a chance to take you down a peg or two on the battlefield, in front of your class, the judges, and the goddess herself. How could I resist?”

“Take a look around. There aren’t any judges here at the moment, and neither is my class. I’ve never been entirely convinced that the goddess keeps all that close of an eye on me, either. Nobody here but you and me. Do you still feel the same desire as before?”

Hilda cast her gaze around and noticed that Edelgard spoke true. There were, indeed, no witnesses to speak of. But although Edelgard was a massive bitch, Hilda knew she would lose honorably if Hilda managed to land a killing blow. Hilda would do the same, although she didn’t intend on such a blow coming anywhere near landing.

She reached the top of the stairs and stepped onto the stone of the watchpost. Edelgard took a few steps back to allow room. It seemed she was as eager to fight as Hilda was. “Yes. I absolutely do feel the same desire as before, you royal pain in the ass.” She readied her axe and shield, and Edelgard did the same. The two of them leapt forward in unison.

Hilda had been outmatched in terms of strength during their first duel, before class had begun, but she had spent an uncharacteristic amount of time and effort on physical training so that it wouldn’t happen again. Only one force in the universe was stronger than Hilda’s desire to do as little work as possible, and that was her need to show up someone who insulted her. Whereas during that duel, Edelgard had been able to immediately put her on the back foot by the sheer power of her swings, they were now almost evenly matched. 

They traded blow for blow, either blocking with shields or their weapons, two heavily armored fighters moving back and forth across the platform with grace and poise as if they were in the middle of a dance, at a ball just for them. Axes whirled above heads and between legs and past arms, each of them coming within a finger’s length of hitting the other, but neither of them managed to land a decisive blow. It wasn’t frustrating, though, as Hilda expected it to be. It was exhilarating. She was breathing heavily, but moving in the plate was something she was accustomed to by now, and so it mostly just ensured that all of her movements were extremely deliberate.

Hilda grinned ear to ear as she swung at Edelgard with near reckless abandon. It was the first time in a long time she’d enjoyed fighting this much, and when she managed to catch a glimpse of Edelgard past their shields and flying axes, to her surprise, she was smiling, too. A wide, reckless smile that she had never seen before, and it looked absolutely beautiful on Edelgard’s face. It distracted her enough that Edelgard was able to hook the underside of Hilda’s axe with her own and yank it aside. Hilda caught on to what she was trying to do, though, and twisted her arm in such a way that rather than having her weapon pulled from her hand, she was able to do the same to her opponent. It was a trick Holst had taught her years ago, as a way to cover for one of the axe’s shortcomings in battle, and it was particularly useful against other axe users.

“No!” Edelgard cried out as Hilda sent her axe flying down the watchpost’s stairs and bouncing out of sight, then readied her own to strike. Hilda’s grin became wicked, and she swung out with her shield to pummel Edelgard with it, but the other woman managed to backstep just in time to avoid the attack.

“You might as well give up now, Edelgard,” Hilda said, her voice almost singsong. “You don’t have a weapon anymore, and you can’t beat me with a shield alone. You can’t land a killing blow with it. Just drop it, go to your knees, and let me get it over with.”

Hilda tried very hard not to think of other times she might wish to command Edelgard to her knees.

“I don’t think so,” Edelgard snarled, leaping forward and slamming her shield’s edge into Hilda’s armored forearm. It wasn’t enough to break the bone, between the armor and the awkward angle, but it was enough to send the weapon flying from Hilda’s relaxed grip, leaving them both disarmed. Hilda stood, dumbfounded.

“Well, now what?” she asked, looking around the top of the platform. She had already used her handaxes and had been so determined to come for Edelgard that she hadn’t picked them back up. Both of them still laid out near where she had beaten Ferdinand.

Edelgard looked Hilda in the eyes, huffing, panting, sweating, and so very, very _alive_. There was a wildness there, in Edelgard’s gaze. Something Hilda wasn’t used to seeing. Never breaking eye contact, Edelgard unlatched her shield and let it clatter to the ground. “I have an idea,” she said, returning to a fighting stance once more, but this time raising her fists. Hilda, ever sporting, dropped her own shield and did the same.

“Fine by me,” she said, edging closer. Once she was an appropriate distance away, Hilda leapt for Edelgard, slamming into her side with one gauntleted fist. The hit landed solidly, but Edelgard landed one just as good on Hilda’s shoulder, almost hard enough to knock it out of its socket. Hilda cursed from the pain, and swept her foot out beneath Edelgard in an attempt to trip her, but she saw it coming and managed to avoid it. It threw Hilda off balance, though, and Edelgard took the opportunity to knock Hilda to the ground instead.

Hilda, for her part, had good enough reflexes to grab onto Edelgard’s arm and drag her down as well. The two of them hit the ground in an enormous cacophony of metal grinding and screeching. They wrestled, for a moment, each one of them trying to get the upper hand, but they were evenly matched. Hilda racked her brain, trying to think of something that could give her an advantage, anything.

She could almost hear Claude’s voice in her ear, from months ago. “The belligerent sexual tension between the two of you is so thick that I could cut it with a knife. I’m pretty sure she wants it as much as you do,” he had said. Based on the way Edelgard was looking at her, she decided to try something and hope that she wasn’t about to embarrass herself.

“By the goddess, it’s just not fair,” she grunted, almost breathlessly. “Why are you _so_ _fucking hot_ when you’re angry?”

The words seemed to hit Edelgard like a hammer blow directly to the temple, leaving her visibly stunned, and Hilda couldn’t believe her luck. That had actually worked. She took advantage of Edelgard’s shock to shove her, hard, onto her back and roll atop her, so that Hilda was pinning her by all four of her limbs. Once she realized what had happened, the blonde struggled, but couldn’t fight against the weight of her armor, Hilda’s armor, and Hilda’s body. She sagged, looking up at Hilda, breathing hard, her pupils oddly dilated.

Hilda stared back down at her and felt a wholly unexpected rush. She was on top of Edelgard. The other girl was completely in her power. The snooty, pompous, always-proper Edelgard von Hresvelg was pinned beneath her like...like…

Like a lover, she realized. Comprehension dawned on Hilda as she understood why she felt such a rush, and why there were butterflies in her stomach. “I...Uh...You…” she stammered, suddenly losing much of the confidence she had felt moments ago. If not for her armor, Edelgard would have been able to push her off right then as if she were naught more than an insect. As it was, Edelgard managed to slip one arm out of her gauntlet, which left it free, but bare.

She reached up and grabbed Hilda by the hair, and Hilda yelped in shock. 

“Unbelievable,” Edelgard said, looking up at Hilda as though she were examining a particularly interesting painting. “You’re...so stupid.”

She dragged Hilda down toward her by her hair. Their armor clanked in protest. Their lips crashed together and it set Hilda’s entire body on fire. They stayed like that, neither deepening the kiss, neither trying to pull away, until Edelgard turned her head ever so slightly to the side. “You are so,” she began, and kissed Hilda again. “Very,” another kiss. “Unbelievably,” and a third. “Stupid.”

On the last of these, she yanked Hilda’s hair again and used the involuntary opening of Hilda’s mouth to slide her tongue past her lips and kiss her fully and completely. Hilda melted into it, the world around them fading out completely. The only thing that mattered was Edelgard below her, the kiss they were sharing, and continuing to do that for the rest of time. Edelgard tasted of sweets and clean sweat and pure, unadulterated passion, and Hilda couldn’t get enough of it.

Suddenly very conscious of her body, and the armor covering it, Hilda growled in frustration before managing to pull herself away to breathe. “This is absolutely the _worst_ place for this, Edelgard.”

Edelgard’s gaze flickered to the side, then back up to Hilda. “I am inclined to agree. No hard feelings, I hope?”

“About what?” Hilda asked, curious.

“About Hubert blasting you off of me.”

The spell slammed into Hilda like a kick from an armored boot and sent her flying to the side, off of Edelgard, and down the first set of five stairs that had led up to the watchpost. The tumble dizzied her, and she was barely able to see, let alone orient herself in space, for several seconds. Goddess damn that Edelgard and her lapdog, Hilda thought as she groaned in pain. She managed to roll over onto her back, and found herself looking up at Edelgard, still minus a gauntlet, standing next to Hubert, whose black cloak made him look decidedly batlike.

“Hubert, if you would be so kind?” Edelgard requested, and he produced a small training dagger from inside his clothes. Hilda wondered idly how many of those he kept on him. He passed it to Edelgard, who took it, and knelt next to Hilda. “That was...nice. I’m glad we understand each other. We really must do it again sometime, but like you said, this really is the worst place for it.”

She slapped the ‘blade’ of the dagger, hard, against Hilda’s chest, making her grunt at the impact, then leaned in closer. “I’ll expect you at my room this evening at ninth bell.”

And with that, Edelgard rose, and her and Hubert strode away.

Hilda laid back on the stairs and groaned. Claude was never going to let her hear the end of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me on twitter @spiderlilywrite!


	4. In which Hilda swallows her pride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda enjoys a celebratory dinner with the Golden Deer students and recounts the day's events, and loses track of time in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, two chapters in one day. Don't judge me.

_Later that same night_

Somehow, incredibly, the Golden Deer managed to secure a victory despite Hilda’s massive fuckup, and for that, she was grateful. She couldn’t imagine how much worse she would feel if she had cost her house the victory. It was bad enough trying to suffer through dinner, and she kind of just wanted to sink into a hole and die.

Apparently, Hubert hadn’t been the only one on the way to rescue Edelgard while the two of them were fighting, and Dorothea had managed to come in right at the end. Specifically, right when Hilda and Edelgard were kissing each other passionately on top of the platform, where Hilda’s pink hair was completely unmistakeable. Dorothea being as Dorothea is, she ‘subtly’ passed word around to the other Black Eagles. That would have been bad enough, had Sylvain not heard about it and ensured that he told _everyone_ who would listen about the event, as though he had even fucking _been there_ , calling it the ‘hottest thing ever’. Hilda had made a mental note to back him into some dark little corner of the monastery and beat him within an inch of his life.

Within two hours of the battle’s conclusion, everyone at Garreg Mach Monastery knew that Hilda had been beaten because she was too busy making out with Edelgard to see Hubert ready to blow her into next week. She couldn’t imagine how Edelgard was taking all of this, but she also had to believe she was too scary for people to make a big deal of it. Besides, Hilda was on top, so in everyone’s mind, she had clearly initiated. 

And so, over their victory feast at half-past seventh bell, Hilda found herself surrounded by her classmates who were too numerous to threaten into silence, which meant all she could do was sit there and fume.

“No, no no, you’re all looking at it wrong!” Claude exclaimed, once he had swallowed his mouthful of food. “Hilda managed to keep Edelgard distracted! Edelgard would have expected a frontal assault with weapons, but a mouth? Totally blindsided her.”

Laughter erupted around the table, and she flushed hot, reaching up to grab Claude by his one little braid. She yanked it downward, bringing his head down to her level, and the man yelped in shock, interrupting his cackling. “Claude von Riegan, if you say one more word about what happened out there today, I’m going to break all of your fingers one by one, I swear to the goddess.”

It was an empty threat, though, and he knew it. If she had to be honest, she probably _did_ deserve a little bit of a ribbing for taking a break in the middle of a battlefield to tongue kiss her arch nemesis. 

“Ow, ow ow, okay, jeez Hilda, sorry,” he said, sitting back up after she released him. There was a break in conversation as the laughter died down. “But seriously, I know I told you to hurry up and break that tension, but what made you do it there and then? What actually happened?”

Hilda sighed, figuring she should be thankful to have a chance to explain. “Well, so, I’ve been having issues with Edelgard for a while.”

“Issues? Is that what you’re calling it now?” said Leonie through a mouthful of chicken. “You’re not subtle when you stare, Hilda.”

Hilda gritted her teeth and threw a biscuit at Leonie, nailing her directly in the face. She made a surprised noise and fell backward off her chair. “Anyways, as I was saying,” Hilda continued, “I was talking to Claude about this, and he told me that he figured she had some of the same feelings for me. I thought he was full of shit, as our dear Claude so often is.”

He shrugged and smiled proudly. “What can I say? Expert tactician, always right.” Lorenz snorted from across the table. Claude scowled at him. “I’m going to ignore that because Hilda’s in the middle of telling a story.”

She cast a look at Claude that asked ‘something there?’ He waved his hand dismissively, so she kept talking. “So, I ended up on top of that big stone watchpost she had been barking orders from, and we fought. It was actually a pretty solid fight, I have to give her that, she almost had me, but I managed to yank her axe away and fling it down the stairs. She got mine just after, ‘cause I got cocky. Smashed her shield down on my arm and it hurt like hell.”

“Oh my! Are you okay?” Marianne asked, shocked. Hilda felt warm at her concern. Marianne had stayed mostly quiet through dinner, and of course the first thing she would speak up about would be to make sure she was alright.

“Yeah, it’s gonna leave a nasty bruise, but I’m fine,” she said, sliding her sleeve up and showing her classmates the mark that was already blossoming on her arm. “So after that, we threw our shields down, because you can’t get a kill with those, right? And goddess, we both really wanted to keep going. It was like, super cathartic?”

“Bet you could go with Edelgard all day and all night, huh Hilda?” Lysithea asked, grinning from ear to ear. Hilda scowled.

“Shut up, Lys, you’re like twelve. Quit being a gremlin.”

“I’m fifteen! You’re not even that much older than me!”

“Same thing, whatever.” She waved her hand dismissively. “So Edelgard came at me, and we slugged it out for a minute, each got a couple really good hits in, before she knocked me over and I pulled her down after me. We kinda like, wrestled for a minute. Even if I couldn’t kill her without my axe, I knew I could pin her and keep her from doing anything. Except I couldn’t really get a lead on her. She was all squirmy and-”

Lysithea giggled, but Ignatz reached up a hand and covered her mouth, pinching her nose shut, nonchalantly as if he was putting a lid on a jar. She flailed at him ineffectually for a moment before stopping and taking a deep breath. “So what exactly did you do, Hilda?” he asked politely, dropping his hand while Lysithea pouted.

“Thank you, Ignatz. Well, I remembered the conversation Claude and I had a few months ago, and I figured I could throw her off. So I like...grunted like I was trying to fight her off, and said ‘why are you so hot when you’re angry?’ and I swear to the goddess it was like she just got struck by lightning. I was able to roll over and pin her, easy.”

“Wait, I’m confused,” Raphael jumped in, setting his third finished plate on top of the other two. “If you had her pinned like that, how was she able to uh, you know…” He made a grabbing motion with his hand.

There was a moment of silence where everyone stared at her, and she chewed her lip for a moment. “I...uh...well…”

“I think I can field this one, Raph. You see, Hilda’s what we call a gay disaster, which means-” Claude began in a very matter-of-fact tone before Hilda thumped him hard on the back of the head.

“What happened, is I was...uh...struggling, to pay attention. I got distracted? Like I thought maybe I heard something off the platform. And when I turned my head to look for it, she slipped a hand out of her gauntlet and grabbed my hair, and pulled me down and uh…”

“Then you made out for several minutes, consecutively,” Claude piped up again, earning him another smack. “Ow, Hilda, that’s going to leave a mark,” he complained.

“Good. Anyways, yes, we did...uh...do that, but it was a tactical decision. I figured the longer I could keep her busy, the more you guys could get done. I figured if one of her runners came back, they’d see her on the ground and assume I beat her.”

“Right, so, as we can see, Hilda made an excellent tactical decision with what she had available to her at the time. Took a page out of my book. She fought dirty, and we won.” Claude raised his cup for a toast. “To Hilda and her excellent battlefield intuition,” he proclaimed. The rest of the Golden Deer followed suit. She groaned and rolled her eyes, propping her chin up on her hand. At least they weren’t asking any more questions.

Dinner continued, followed by dessert, and they talked of things other than Hilda, shared stories about their own roles in the day’s battle. Claude passed a couple bottles of wine around, and all of the students except Lysithea and Hilda poured themselves some. When he cocked an eyebrow at her, she lied about being a lightweight and not wanting to get sick. He didn’t seem to believe her, but he let the issue drop, for the moment at least.

Hilda joined in the merrymaking in full, then, and celebrated the Golden Deer victory loud and proud, substituting some water for the wine everyone else had when they began to toast each others’ combat and magic prowess. The gathering broke down into smaller side conversations, and Hilda saw Claude looking at her like he was trying to figure something out. She tried very hard to keep her tone even and natural, unsuspicious as possible. “You’re acting weird, Hilda. Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure. Maybe just a little tired though.” She gave a big, obviously fake yawn. “What time is it?” she asked, as if it were an afterthought. Claude pulled a pocket watch out and checked it.

“It’s, aaaaah, about ten after nine? Why?”

Hilda stood up, a little too fast, looking past Claude to the door. “Oh, uh, no reason. But I think I should probably get going to bed, you know, it’s been a long day and I really need to sleep, so I’ll see you tomorrow?” Before he could say anything, Hilda walked for the door as quickly as she could without drawing the attention of everyone in the room. She tossed it open and stepped out into the night.

“Excellent Hilda, great job, absolutely smashing, you finally have a chance to hash this out with Edelgard, and now you’re late _”_ she mumbled to herself angrily, breaking into a jog as soon as the door closed behind her. 

Luckily, the dining hall wasn’t too far from the dormitories, and she moved as quickly as she could without breaking into a sweat. She wanted to seem composed. As she approached Edelgard’s room, she realized what she was doing and felt incredibly silly. Why was she running to Edelgard? Why was she coming on command like a puppy? Why did she even _care_? She asked herself all of these questions in a split second, but as she reached the door, she realized it didn’t matter. Because she really, really cared.

Hilda raised her hand and rapped sharply on the door, which, after a second of waiting, was flung open. One pale, bare hand shot out from the gap in the door, grabbed her by the front of her shirt, and yanked her into the room, the door closing seemingly of its own accord. She felt herself get spun around and before she had a chance to react, her back was to the wall, the hand (which she could now see was attached to Edelgard), still gripping her shirt.

“You’re late,” Edelgard said. She didn’t growl or grunt or accuse. It was a simple statement of fact.

“Y-yeah? I had stuff to do, so what?” Hilda replied, narrowing her eyes at the other woman. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

“No, it doesn’t, you’re right. But I have it on good authority yours does,” she remarked dispassionately. “And I actually went to some trouble because I _expected_ you to be able to follow a single, simple order. My room. Ninth bell. I have dogs trained better than you back in Enbarr.” 

Hilda swallowed, trying not to let Edelgard rattle her. “I’m not a-”

“No, you’re not a dog, dogs can listen,” Edelgard said, taking a step back and releasing her grip on Hilda’s shirt. Hilda looked at her lips as she spoke, and realized that she was wearing makeup. She had never seen Edelgard in it before, but she had put on red-gold eyeshadow and a lip rouge that matched it quite nicely. She had also done very good foundation work that enhanced her already naturally strong features, and her hair hung completely unbound, framing her face. All of the touches were subtle, but it was enough to make Hilda’s mouth go dry.

Of course, she was shocked even more when she looked down and saw that Edelgard was wearing a deep red silken robe with black accents, tied at the front, and with a generous enough gap at the top that Hilda could almost see the curving sides of Edelgard’s breasts, as well as several long, white scars. She didn’t seem to be wearing anything at all beneath, and because of the cut of the robe and the way it was tied, it clung to her body in very distracting ways.

“I may still decide to play with you, tonight. I could be convinced to forgive your indiscretion, and even forgive you for the laughter I’ve had to silence from our peers. You’re going to have to work for it,” she said, snapping her fingers in front of Hilda’s face to redirect her vision. “Eyes up, Hilda.”

Without thinking, Hilda obeyed. She could feel her face getting hot and her heart began to beat faster as the reality of the situation began to sink in. Edelgard had not called her here to talk. She had called her to finish what they started earlier. _Oh._

“Do you wish to leave, Hilda?” Edelgard asked quietly, her voice still dripping with confidence. “I will not keep you against your will. Tell me I misunderstood, and you’re free to leave.”

“I…” she began, her eyes flicking to the door. She _could_ leave. She could play this off like nothing ever happened. She could go back to dinner, or just go to bed. But… “What if I do? Maybe I don’t actually want to do even so much as touch you, maybe I was just messing with you to get the upper hand earlier.” 

Edelgard snorted. “Don’t play coy, Ms. Goneril. It doesn’t suit you.”

Hilda swallowed hard. If she admitted to this, she was giving Edelgard every last little shred of power she had over the situation. She’d be admitting to her feelings, giving in to them. There’d be no going back and it galled her. Every competitive bone in her body screamed at her to laugh at Edelgard, insist that she was misinterpreting, and storm out of the room. But she really, really didn’t want to.

“...no. I don’t want to leave,” she said quietly.

“Why not?” Edelgard asked, tightening her grip on Hilda’s shirt once more. “I want you to say it out loud.”

Hilda growled in frustration, not wanting to do so, but knowing that was exactly why Edelgard was forcing her to. “Because…” she began, trying not to trip over the words, “because I want…”

“Because you want what, Hilda? Spit it out, if you can even do that much.”

She took a deep breath and spoke, shakily. Why was this turning her on so much? “I don’t want to leave, because I want...I want you to…” To what? What did she want Edelgard to do? What exactly? What had she wanted from the start, from that very first day?

“I want you to fuck me,” she finally said, her knees going weak. Her whole body tingled and she could swear there was electricity in the air. Edelgard gave her a small, satisfied smile, then swept out with one foot to knock Hilda’s legs out from under her. Hilda cried out, but Edelgard was still holding her by the shirt, and she lowered Hilda to the ground, letting her sink slowly to her knees.

“Good. Beg.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, catch me @spiderlilywrite on twitter


	5. In which Edelgard solves one problem and creates another.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just the two of them, and Edelgard is determined to put a stop to Hilda's petulance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, smut time. I wasn't super sure about this chapter, but I ended up liking it in the end. Special thanks to [tansybells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells) for helping me workshop this.

It took a moment for Edelgard’s words to register, and it felt like getting flicked on the nose. Saying she wanted Edelgard to fuck her was one thing. That was spur of the moment, and it was  _ hot _ . But this? “Beg!? I’m not going to beg, you’re out of your goddess-damned-” she began angrily, her previous nervousness evaporating in a flash of irritation, before she was interrupted.

“If I go too far, you will say the word ‘greataxe’, and I will stop what we are doing immediately. Do you understand?” Edelgard asked, her tone even.

“What? Yes, sure, okay, whatever,” Hilda replied, confused. She’d heard of the concept before. A safe word. What was Edelgard planning to  _ do _ ?

“Say it.” 

“Say what?”

“The word I just told you, Hilda. Say it.”

Hilda frowned and spoke. “Greataxe?” Edelgard nodded approvingly.

“Very good. Now, what were you saying before?” she asked, her tone polite and cordial. It made Hilda feel a little bit self-conscious, but as soon as she remembered why she was angry in the first place, that fire returned.

“I was saying that you have to be out of your mind if you think I’m going to beg you for anything, you egomaniacal-”

**_Crack_ **

Hilda’s head jerked to the side as pain flashed hard across her cheek. It was more shocking than anything, but it was enough to stop Hilda in her tracks. She gaped up at Edelgard, who was still as impassive as she had been a moment before. The only difference was that her hand had moved. She blinked in surprise. “Did you just  _ slap _ me?” Hilda demanded.

“I would think the answer to your question is quite obvious,” she said, sighing and shaking out her fingers. Hilda reached up to feel her cheek, and it throbbed. She thought about what Edelgard had said. She gave a safe word, she told her to use it if she needed to. Hilda had no doubt that everything would stop immediately if she did. Much like on the battlefield, she trusted Edelgard to act honorably and according to her word.

There was also the somewhat troubling realization that Hilda enjoyed being hit like that  _ far _ more than she thought was normal. Did normal people like getting slapped? She was shocked, but she wasn’t angry. “Let’s try again. I know we can adjust your behavior properly if we work together, Hilda. Beg.” Edelgard reached down and cupped Hilda’s chin in one hand, gently. It was enough to make her heart flutter.

She trembled in anticipation and excitement, feeling a tight knot in the pit of her stomach. Would Edelgard slap her again if she disobeyed? Or would it only be if she yelled at her? How far could she push?

“I…” she began, trying to decide what she wanted to do. Nobody but her and Edelgard would know what happened in that room, right? Her pride wrestled with her desire, and after a protracted mental battle, her desire won. “I want you to...uhm…” she began unsteadily, trying to find the right words.

**_Crack_ **

“Better, but you’re thinking too much, and I know that’s got to be very hard for you.” Hilda could detect a note of disdain in her voice. “Speak from the heart. Tell me what you actually want. Debase yourself for me.”

Hilda reached up quickly and pressed a hand to her cheek, feeling her eyes prickle with tears. “I want you,” she began, speeding up as she spoke, “I want you to...goddess, I don’t  _ know _ , I just want you to fuck me and I’m pretty sure I hate you, but this is really complicated and I’m feeling a lot of things right now and this is really hard for me, and if you tell anyone what happened here, I swear I’m going to murder you in your sleep!” she exclaimed. She felt tears begin to run down her cheeks, though whether they were from pain, embarrassment, or anger, she couldn’t say. 

She looked up at Edelgard, and saw that she, of all the things she could be doing, was  _ laughing _ . That absolute  _ bitch _ was  _ laughing at her. _ Her face flushed, and she opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could, Edelgard placed a single finger on her lips and took a deep, steadying breath. “Only you, Hilda. Your tone could use some work, but I’ll accept it. I know that’s the closest to begging I’m going to get out of you, anyways.” She paused, for a long moment. “You look so pretty down on your knees, but let’s move this along, shall we?”

She hauled Hilda to her feet and pulled her across the room, spinning her around to put her back to Edelgard's bed.

Edelgard pushed Hilda backward, and she fell onto the bed with a yelp, catching herself and watching her partner carefully as she smoothed out her skirt and made sure it was still covering her well enough. Edelgard rubbed her chin, and looked down at Hilda as if appraising a gemstone. Something about the intense scrutiny made her feel warm and tingly and she squirmed, eventually looking away and to the floor. “What would your friends say now, I wonder?” Edelgard mused out loud. “If they saw you in my room? If they knew you had flown up here upon realizing you were late for a casual tryst with the woman you can’t stop talking about hating?”

Hilda’s ears burned, and her eyes still stung, and she didn’t reply, keeping her gaze fixed on the floor. It was embarrassing, both because she knew what people would say, and because the thought of their secret liaison becoming known absolutely set her blood boiling, and not in anger.. 

Edelgard reached forward and took Hilda’s chin once more, leaning in close and forcing her to look up and meet her eyes. “I wonder what they would say,” she whispered, “if they knew I held you in the palm of my hand, now.” She slid her hand downward to Hilda’s neck, grabbed her tightly and kissed her, hard. It was similar to their kiss earlier that day, but it felt more whole, more complete. If that kiss had been the ebb and flow of the tide, this one was a crashing wave that made Hilda melt into it. She flung her arms up and over Edelgard’s shoulders, trying to keep her close, hungry for more, feeling her head begin to swim, but it did her no good. After a moment, and far too soon, Edelgard pulled back and away, breaking the kiss and pushing her back onto the bed. 

Hilda whined quietly, panting. “Why’d you stop?” she asked, “that’s not fair!”

“Actually, it was quite fair. You disobeyed and disrespected me, so I punished you. Then you followed orders and did as I told you to, albeit clumsily, and I rewarded you. Now you know how this little game works,” Edelgard explained matter-of-factly, and Hilda understood. Hilda understood games, but most importantly, she knew how to win them. Edelgard liked to be in control, that was fine. But Hilda was quite used to pulling strings while other people made a big to-do about being in charge. So if that was how she wanted to play? Fine.

“I suppose that makes sense…” she said with a sigh, laying back on Edelgard’s bed and letting her skirt ride up just a tiny bit. She saw Edelgard look down to her legs, which she crossed lazily, draping one over the other. “But didn’t I tell you I wanted you to have me? I thought you seemed pretty into the idea, and you made a big deal of talking about how I was going to know my place and all that.”

“You’re clearly trying to goad me, Hilda. You’re not half as clever as you seem to think you are,” Edelgard said, clearly not amused.

“Is it working?” Hilda quirked one side of her mouth up in a little grin.

“I think you still fundamentally misunderstand what’s going on here. All of  _ this _ ?” she said, drawing a circle in the air, pointing at Hilda. “This is pretense. I’m not stupid. You’re still playing a role, as you always do. But I think I can help you grasp the situation a little better”

Edelgard reached down and casually flicked open the buttons on Hilda’s shirt, making her breath catch in her throat. She pulled it open, revealing Hilda’s rather ample chest, and Hilda snapped her arms up to cross over herself reflexively, making a surprised noise. Edelgard caught them and held them, unmoving. “You know exactly how to get me to stop if you actually want me to.”

She did know. She didn’t want Edelgard to stop. She lowered her arms once the grip on them was loosened.

“Good girl,” said Edelgard, reaching up and patting her on the cheek. Okay, that definitely shouldn’t have made her insides do a somersault, right? “No brassiere, I see. That’s what I thought when I first looked at you, but it was hard to tell under your uniform. You certainly had an idea of how you wanted this evening to go.”

“I-it was just more comfortable!” Hilda insisted. “Don’t flatter yourself.” 

Edelgard reached down and took one nipple between her fingers, pinching, then digging a fingernail in slightly. Hilda cried out in pain before reaching up to cover her mouth. “Right. As I was saying,” she continued, “my goal is not to invite you into my room and have you continue to play a character.”

She squeezed Hilda’s breast and wrung a soft groan out of her for it, then slid her other hand up Hilda’s thigh, which she gripped, hard. Hilda was shaking, Edelgard was so close, and she had to take a deep breath to keep from whimpering. Her hand went up the rest of the way, grabbed at Hilda’s underwear, and pulled down to her knees, causing her to cry out in surprise. Still looking Hilda in the eyes, she traced light circles around her, deliberately avoiding exactly the spot she knew Hilda wanted touched the most.

“My goal is to see you  _ raw _ , Hilda. My goal is to chip away at you until the layers of pretense are scoured away and I see you as you are. If you want to be here, with me, if you want  _ this, _ ” she said, ghosting one finger across Hilda’s folds in a way that made her shudder. “You’re going to be honest with me and I will lay you bare. You are here for me to play with. Do you understand?”

“Goddess, Edelgard, fine, yes, I understand, now  _ please _ hurry up and-”

  
“I’m. Not. Done, “she said, pinching Hilda again to emphasize each word, and causing her to cry out. “When we’re in here, you’re mine. You do as I say. You follow my rules. You’ve spent a long time and a lot of effort to make me notice you, and now I have. You said you wanted me to fuck you, and I did. Now I want you to thank me for it.”

“To...to what?” Hilda asked, breathlessly, frustrated, trying in vain to move herself against Edelgard’s hand. 

“Be polite. Thank me for noticing you and scratching this infuriating itch that you’ve had the audacity to inflict on both of us. Thank me for wasting my time with someone like  _ you _ , and I could be tempted to give you what you want.”

_ That bitch _ , Hilda thought to herself, frustrated both physically and emotionally. She took a deep, shuddering breath. “F-fine. Thank you. Is that what you want? Thanks for deigning to come down here off your fucking high horse and-”

**_Crack_ **

The hand that had previously been toying with her chest had swept upward, quick as an arrow, and backhanded her across the face, making her cry out in surprise and pain.  _ Well, there go the tears again _ , she thought, shamefully, trying to turn her head to hide her face. Edelgard was having none of it, reaching up to wrench her chin back into place. “You will look at me, Hilda. I am more than happy to continue to correct your atrocious behavior all night, but I think you have other ways you would rather spend it. Try again.”

After taking a moment to catch her breath and regain some of her composure, she spoke. “Th-thank you for...for wasting your time with me.” Hilda let out one, long, shuddering breath, and realized she had never been more turned on in her life. Her emotions were completely jumbled and confused, and she was angry, humiliated, and anxious, but most of all, she felt like she was going to explode if Edelgard didn’t-

She felt Edelgard plunge her fingers into her, without warning, without fanfare, and she let out a choked, sobbing groan. “Thank you,” she cried out, before Edelgard put a hand to her neck and pressed down just enough to make her gasp.

“If you don’t keep your volume down, someone is going to walk in here, and I can’t imagine you’d like that very much,” Edelgard said, sliding her fingers out of Hilda and then back in, hard, hooking them upward and pressing down, which drew a longer, lower moan from her partner. Hilda felt herself begin to sweat, her face going hot as Edelgard repeated the motion a few more times, finding a rhythm. “Legs,” she said simply, and Hilda spread them apart a little further without even thinking about disobeying, letting Edelgard move more freely.

The hand on her neck moved up, Edelgard sliding the fingers of that hand across Hilda’s lips. “Open,” she said, and Hilda did, letting her slide two fingers into her mouth. “There, maybe that will give you something better to do with that tongue of yours.”

Hilda felt Edelgard’s hand pumping in and out of her, her thumb rubbing at her clit, and it was very quickly driving her absolutely wild. Her partner used the two fingers in her mouth to press down on her tongue, and Hilda struggled, pressing against them without even knowing why, swirling it around as if she’d been given a piece of candy. Hilda closed her eyes and lost herself in the mingling sensations.

“Emmlgrph!” she mumbled as loud as she was able around the other girl’s hand. Edelgard withdrew the fingers from her mouth quickly.

“Are you well?” she asked, still moving her hand between Hilda’s legs with the same, infuriatingly relentless pace, her calm tone a mismatch for the sensation. Hilda, without even thinking about what she was doing, reached up and grabbed Edelgard’s arm with both hands, hugging it close. 

“I’m...I’m going to…” she squeaked, squeezing the arm tight, and Edelgard made no move to pull away..

“Ah. Good. Come for me, Hilda. Show me what exactly I can do to you.”

Those words were all the permission she needed to fall over the edge, and she barely restrained a scream as she did. Pressure built and exploded within her, and she felt her muscles contract and relax, her hips bucking and her eyes squeezing shut out of reflex. Edelgard, for her part, kept her hand moving, pacing herself expertly, drawing every last ounce of pleasure she could from Hilda. 

It took a long moment, longer than any time she had just been by herself, for her to eventually come down from that high. When she did, she felt completely and utterly spent. As she returned to herself, she felt that she’d taken a shower with her clothes on, as covered as she was in perspiration. She reached an arm up and laid it on her forehead, panting hard. “That was...oh...wow…I think I need a min-”

Edelgard, without warning, slid the fingers she had used to coax her to orgasm between Hilda’s lips. “Clean,” she ordered, and, embarrassed yet again, Hilda swirled her tongue around them, tasting herself. It was strangely erotic, and once she was finished, Edelgard withdrew the digits and wiped them on Hilda’s shirt.

“Well, I’m glad you had a nice time. You see what happens when you’re a good girl for me, Hilda?” She patted the girl’s cheek, gently this time, and Hilda felt a strange rush of...pride?. That was weird. “Now I’ll expect no more of this foolishness where you antagonize me every time you get the chance. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

Hilda sighed. She supposed she could get over this feud if it meant she got to do more of  _ that _ . “Fine, I guess, but I’m not like...gonna follow you around and be all lovey or whatever.”

For the first time that evening, Edelgard looked a little bit confused. “What? Why would I want you to do that?” she asked. “I’m not courting you.”

Hilda felt...something. She couldn’t explain exactly what it was. Was it anger? No, not that. Maybe offense? Was she angry that Edelgard would say that? No, that wasn’t it either. She realized with a start that it was  _ pain _ . She felt a sinking feeling in her chest and couldn’t explain why. It’s not like she  _ wanted _ to court Edelgard. Was it?

“Oh. Of course not. I was just saying, you know, so it’s clear,” Hilda replied, forcing nonchalance into her voice. “This is definitely, totally just some no-strings-attached stuff. Some way for you to play out your power fantasy and let me get off. I get it. I still don’t like you.” she said, putting her hands behind her head and laying back onto Edelgard’s bed.

Edelgard seemed, for the barest moment, uncomfortable, as though she were upset about something. But she was the one who had just asserted that they weren’t courting. So why would she care what Hilda said? Then her stony mask was back in place, as though it had never even shifted. “Exactly. Just that. I recommend you don’t get attached to any of this. Today’s friend is tomorrow’s enemy.”

Right. That made sense, Hilda figured. They were, after all, at an academy designed to teach them the art of war.

There was a moment of silence that grew longer and heavier. 

“I...think I should probably go back to my room. It’s pretty late,” Hilda said, sliding off the bed and fixing her appearance just in case she ran into someone on the walk back.

“Good. I hope you sleep well,” Edelgard replied, remaining seated on the bed.

Hilda walked to the door and hesitated for just a moment, as if she were going to say something. Edelgard leaned forward ever so slightly.

“Goodnight, Edelgard,” Hilda said, perfectly pleasantly, and closed the door behind her.

Once the door was closed, Edelgard let out a long, shuddering sigh and stood, going to her desk and sitting down in her chair, her legs shaking.

Edelgard put her head in her hands and stared blankly at the desktop. She finally let her mask crack and fall away, and tears, unbidden, began to streak down her cheeks.

“Oh goddess…” she mumbled quietly, speaking to nobody but herself. “What am I doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me @spiderlilywrite on twitter for updates!


	6. In which we get some perspective.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Hilda take some time to process what the hell just happened. Their friends provide what love and comfort they can.

Hilda hurried down the walkway from Edelgard’s room to hers, trying as hard as she could to make little noise and be as unobtrusive as possible. Still a little wobbly and dazed from what had just happened with Edelgard, she was only partially successful. It didn’t matter though, because she reached her room without being seen by anyone but a patrolling guard, to whom she waved genially.

As she reached her door, she gave thanks to the goddess, cranked the knob, and stepped inside her dormitory. All of her careful stepping and preparation was for naught, though, because the second she stepped into her bedroom, she let out a shriek that she was certain would have woken up everyone in a two-room radius of her own.

“Claude,  _ what the fuck?” _ she cried out, then realized what she had just done and clamped a hand over her mouth.

“Ow?” Claude complained, turning to face her and rubbing his ear. He had been sitting in her chair, at her desk, looking rather bored, paging through one of her textbooks. “This isn’t the first time I’ve come to visit you, Hilda, what’s got you so jumpy?” he asked, a cocky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth “Although I think I already know.” Claude looked her up and down.

“What do you even know, you perv? Quit looking at me like that!” Hilda said defensively, and plopped down on her bed so she could glare at him at eye level.

“Well, I know you weren’t wearing rouge on your lips when you left the dining hall, and you sure are now.”

She swore she could feel her heart skip a beat, and she reached up to rub at her mouth. Sure enough, Edelgard had left some of her makeup behind when they had kissed. Hilda added a scowl to her glare, which only made Claude burst out laughing.

  
“Easy shortstack, I’m not here to make fun of you,” he said once he managed to take a deep breath and calm down. “I’m actually happy for you. You wanna give your ol’ best friend Claude the steamy details?” he asked, getting up and flopping down on the bed next to her. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to spend their evenings together like this, especially when one of them had something they desperately needed to talk about, and although her first impulse was to tell him to fuck off back to his room before she threw him out by his hair, she considered the alternative. Maybe she could debrief on that extremely hot, extremely strange meeting between the two of them. She sighed.

“Fine, but you won’t tell a  _ soul _ about any of this, right? I mean it Claude, if this gets out, my life might be in danger, and yours  _ definitely _ will.”

“Of course not. You know I can keep a secret,” he said, and she knew it was true. Claude was basically a pile of secrets shambling around in a vaguely human shape.

“Alright so basically, remember the story I told at dinner? Well, after that, when Edelgard ‘killed’ me on the field, she leaned down and told me to meet her in her room at ninth bell.”

“Explains why you took off running when you realized you were late.”

“Right, yeah, sorry about that,” she said, sheepishly. “I know I just kind of left you hanging.“ Claude shrugged in response. “So, I ran up there, right, and I knocked on the door, and she pulled me inside, and-”

“And then the two of you had a polite, civil conversation like adults?” Claude asked, sounding almost hopeful. Hilda slugged him on the arm halfheartedly.

“Of course not. She was wearing makeup, which was weird, and this robe, and she looked really fancy and really pretty and she grabbed me by the shirt and just totally came on to me? And I told her I was okay with it, and then…”

Hilda shifted uncomfortably, and Claude noticed. “There isn’t much that makes  _ you _ speechless. What happened? What did she do?” There was a note of genuine concern in his voice, tinged ever so slightly with anger. It made her smile, to know that even as calm and cool as Claude acted, he was willing to be angry on her behalf.

“She uh. Knocked me to my knees and told me to beg?”

Claude blinked twice at her, clearly taken aback. Whatever he had been expecting, that hadn’t been it. He took a moment to recover, then spoke. “Well. Huh. Did you?” Hilda blushed and groaned in frustration.

“What do you think, Claude? She was  _ really hot _ and I just kind of rolled with it! And then she slapped me around a few times and that was hot too, which was weird, and she...uh...you know, did other stuff. Put me on the bed and did some...really good other stuff.”

“Please, never write erotica.”

“Fuck off, I’m still a little out of it.”

“That good, huh?”

“ _ Anyways _ , my point is that the whole time, she had this really dominant thing going on. Like she was afraid to let any emotions show. She was really good, yeah, but like...she almost seemed hollow? Like she was holding something back? I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining it.” Hilda sighed, clearly tired. “Am I crazy, Claude? I don’t even know how I feel about her anymore. I want to hate her, she’s such a snooty imperious bitch, but…”

“But she’s hot and beat you up in just the right way.”

Hilda slugged him a second time, making him wince. “Speaking of which, I can keep hitting you all night long.”

“Is that what Edelgard told you, too?”

She hit him a third time, harder. 

“Okay, ow, got it, fine.” He rubbed at the sore spot gently. “I don’t know, Hilda, you don’t sound like you hate her,” he said, and she turned to regard him curiously. “You sound like you were smitten with her, then she embarrassed you, and you decided to make it a problem for both of you. Have you ever noticed that she doesn’t really seem to go out of her way to antagonize you? It’s only when you go after her and, goddess, if I was her, I’d have poisoned your lunch months ago and just been done with it.”

Hilda almost hit him a fourth time for suggesting that someone should poison her food, but she chewed his words over for a moment. She supposed that might be the case. Was she really Hilda’s nemesis, or was she just a regular person, annoyed at Hilda’s one-sided rivalry?

“Then what’s up with tonight?” she asked. “Why would she go to all that trouble if she just wanted me to leave her alone?”

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to leave her alone anymore,” Claude said quietly, and suddenly, things seemed to click into place.

  
  


***

  
  
  
  


Edelgard’s fist snapped twice, hard, then once, softer, on Hubert’s door, a pattern that let him know it was her outside. He often wouldn’t answer for anyone else, or he would, but with a dagger in hand, much to the dismay of the unexpected guest. Edelgard, though, always found a warm welcome when she needed solace in her oldest, most trusted friend’s company. It was solace she found herself needing more frequently of late, as no matter how much she hardened her heart, no matter how much she reminded herself that she was doing what needed to be done, her path was still fraught with physical and emotional peril.

After a couple of moments, the door opened. Hubert stood before her wearing a hastily belted bathrobe, red with the Black Eagles crest on the breast. Of course, even in the middle of the night, Hubert would look as proper as possible. “Lady Edelgard?” he asked, a look of concern crossing his face. “Are you unwell?” Hubert looked her over and when he saw her eyes raw and wet in the pale moonlight, his expression turned grim. “Please, come in.”

He stepped aside and gestured for her to enter the room. She did, of course, as she certainly did not wish to be seen standing outside in her current state, and the second she saw him, some of those familiar feelings of loneliness and isolation melted away

.

Edelgard looked around the dormitory, smiling faintly at the meticulously well-kept nature of the space Hubert called his own. Not a single pen or paper out of place where it mattered, but there were several items of clothing laid about artfully, as well as a book laying open on the desk. Neat enough to avoid suspicion of any kind, but not so neat that it would draw any attention. The room, like her friend, was very carefully managed and maintained.

Hubert sat down in his desk chair, and gestured to his bed. She sat down carefully. “Lady Edelgard, I must ask you to explain your current appearance. While you have your reasons, I am sure, for doing what you do, I cannot help but be concerned.”

She groaned and rubbed her temples slowly, trying to massage away the headache that always came after time spent crying. “It’s...a long story, Hubert.”

“I have nothing but time, my lady,” he responded politely. She knew it to be true. Hubert wouldn’t be able to sleep until he understood what was going on.

“I...have committed an indiscretion, I think, and I needed to talk to someone with whom I could speak freely,” she began. “You know of Hilda, of the Alliance’s House Goneril?”

“Of course. It would be very difficult for me  _ not _ to know her, my lady. She has been something of a thorn in your side for the last several months, has she not?” The question was rhetorical. Hubert knew more than Edelgard did, she was sure, as one of his many responsibilities was her protection. Any student who took as much of an interest in his liege as Hilda had would need to be pursued and investigated.

“Certainly, as you are doubtless aware.” Edelgard could see on his face that he understood what had happened, but he was clearly letting her speak for her sake more than his own. She appreciated that. “Today, during the mock battle at Gronder, she charged me, attacked me, and actually managed to get the best of me before you arrived. At which point, I did something that was perhaps unwise.”

Hubert listened politely, not speaking over or before her. It was eerie how still he could be, sometimes. It was no wonder some of the other students found him intimidating. “What might that have been, my lady?” he asked.

“I...leaned down and finished her off with your knife. And as I did, I requested that she come to my room this evening at ninth bell. She obeyed, which surprised me. I didn’t think she had it in her to follow orders.” She smiled softly, not meeting Hubert’s gaze.

“I see. And then?”

“We...slept together. Sort of. She didn’t touch me, but I touched her. I did my very best to maintain that this was nothing more than a tryst based on physical attraction and mutual frustration. I reaffirmed that we were not courting and…” Edelgard felt tears begin to well in her eyes again. “She left.”

“I take it, from your tone, that you did not speak truthfully when you told her that your actions were rooted in exclusively physical attraction,” Hubert said, sighing softly. “My lady, forgive my prying, but have you developed... _ feelings... _ for Hilda?” The way he said the word ‘feelings’ made it sound like he was trying to swallow a particularly loathsome drink of wine. Edelgard grimaced, gripping the edge of the bed. It felt like he was judging her for having done so, but she knew he wouldn’t be so brazen. He was only trying to understand, she reminded herself.

“It would be ridiculous!” she growled, annoyed more with herself than anyone else. “She’s done nothing but antagonize me since the first day we arrived here, but goddess damn me if I don’t feel a fondness for her! At first I just wanted her to leave me alone. Then I was worried she was trying to interfere with our plan, that she found something out, somehow. Now I know that’s not the case, but I can’t stop thinking about her, Hubert!” The tears that had been welling finally began to flow down her face for the second time that night, silently.

“If I may be so bold,” he began, folding his hands in his lap, “it sounds like your feelings for her are indeed more than physical or friendly. You are romantically attracted to her. I am sure, though, that I need not remind you that such a relationship would not be tenable in the long term. We have a scant few months until-”

“I _ know _ , Hubert!” she interrupted, raising her voice without realizing she was doing so, and she immediately felt guilty for it. She flushed at her loss of control, and though he remained outwardly impassive, she knew that Hubert would have had to be surprised at her outburst. It was unlike her. “I came up with this plan in the first place! But I can’t help it! She acts with so much passion, and she protects those close to her, just as I do- as  _ you _ do, Hubert. She  _ cares _ , and she’s open and loving and gleeful in a way I could never afford to be. Hilda just...gets under my skin, and I can’t do anything about it. It’s infuriating.”

“I know you can’t help it, my lady. I am not suggesting that you can.” Hubert got up from his chair to sit next to her on the bed. His hands remained in his lap, but his presence made her feel better all the same. Edelgard counted herself truly lucky to have such a steadfast ally at her side. “I am simply reminding you that it is important to manage your expectations for what might come of anything, whether a romantic relationship or a series of trysts, with Miss Goneril. Unless of course, you think she can be turned to our cause, which seems rather unlikely.”

“I know, Hubert,” she said quietly, leaning in closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder. “Maybe in another life. Maybe in a different world, we could have done things differently. I had been hoping that tonight, if we met and I was able to indulge while still keeping her at arm’s length, I could set these feelings aside and focus.” 

“But you do not think you can?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. The way she looked at me, Hubert, the way she moved and spoke and...well.” Edelgard paused. “She was beautiful, and I can’t help but want to see her in such a way again.”

Hubert exhaled softly, trying not to disturb her position. “Lady Edelgard. I trust you, and I trust in your ability to adhere to our design. That was never in question. But I fear for you, and for your heart. You must decide if giving a foothold to these desires of yours brings you enough pleasure to be worth the pain it will cause when you have to turn away.” 

She knew he could probably feel her tears soaking into his robe, but she didn’t care. Edelgard turned her head and heaved quiet, choked sobs into her friend’s shoulder. This display of emotion was also quite unlike her, but Hubert was one of the few people with whom she could be unguarded. He had known her since they were children, he had seen her cry over every frustration, every loss. He had watched her break and heal. He had seen her grow beyond that person, becoming strong, bold, and fearless, but every once in a while, he could still see shades of that little girl she had once been. He was the only person allowed to see her in a moment of weakness like that, and every time he did, his quiet, stoic, and unwavering companionship reaffirmed how much she truly loved him.

They sat together in the heavy silence, punctuated only by Edelgard’s sharp, stuttering breaths. “I know,” she managed to say, once she had calmed down slightly, “I know what has to be done. I know I can do it. But I wish for all the world, Hubert, that I didn’t have to.”

He swallowed hard, and lifted his arm, placing it around his lady’s shoulder and embracing her lightly, as though she were something fragile that might break if he wasn’t careful. “I know, Lady Edelgard,” he murmured. “Were there anything I could give to ease your burden, I would give it in a heartbeat. All that I may do is remain by your side until the end and hope that you can find what joy you may.”

“Thank you, Hubert.”

“You are welcome, my lady.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow or message me @spiderlilywrite on twitter, or comment below!


	7. In which Hilda and Edelgard establish a routine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been about two weeks since Gronder field and the steamy night that followed. Hilda and Edelgard have begun to find a new normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really proud of this one, thanks for everyone who keeps followin!

Hilda drummed her fingers on her desk in the Golden Deer classroom. She couldn’t conceive of a time in recent memory that she had been more bored, and Marianne was laid up sick in her bedroom, so she didn’t even have her usual deskmate to bother. Her chin was propped up in one hand, and she felt her eyelids growing heavy. Surely it wouldn’t be too bad if she drifted off for just a few minutes? But no. Hilda pinched herself, hard, the pain clearing her mind as little else could. She’d not gotten much rest the night before, Edelgard von Fucking Hresvelg had seen to that.

As the chill of autumn turned to the biting cold of winter, the two of them had begun to settle into a familiar rhythm. It had been about two weeks since their initial nighttime rendezvous after the battle at Gronder, and things had gotten...weirder, if that was even possible. During the day, the women almost completely ignored each other, with Hilda and Edelgard each acting as though the other didn’t even exist. Outside of their own close confidantes (Claude and Hubert, respectively), nobody knew about the burgeoning relationship between them. Not that it would have been appropriate for anyone to know, given what that relationship consisted of.

She fingered the small, folded piece of paper that Hubert had passed her earlier in the dining hall over lunch. It had been simple, with only one word, written in flowing, elegant, practiced handwriting:

_“Tonight”_

It was the second time this week, the second night in a row that Edelgard had demanded her presence in the evening. They’d had two meetings the week before, and the way things were going, Hilda figured they were on track for at least three by the end of this one. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up, but she didn’t even consider turning down the invitation, not for a scant second. She shivered. Each time, Edelgard would have something different planned, but three things were always the same.

One, she always either had Hubert hand her the note, or it would be on her desk in her room. Edelgard never did it herself. Two, Edelgard would always lead. These two things were given, and Hilda expected them. Edelgard was a bigshot imperial heiress, and she certainly couldn’t be seen dallying with a daughter of one of the major houses of the Alliance, although the longer this routine continued, the more it stung. She found it difficult to flirt with others as she once had, and really lacked much desire to do so in general. While they were not courting, Hilda still felt as though she was being unfaithful if she did, which was absolutely fucked up. But she was a big girl, and she could handle her weird feelings about her enemy-with-benefits

Third, Hilda never stayed the night.

It was this third item that irked Hilda the most, and it confused her every single time they met. Edelgard trusted her enough to bring her into her room, to fuck her senseless, and to keep their dalliances secret, but she didn’t trust her enough to let her sleep in the same room? It hurt Hilda’s feelings, dammit! She felt like she deserved at least that much. Plus it was embarrassing to have to shamble back to her room on shaky legs with fucked up hair and makeup. And so, Hilda had devised a plan.

Tonight, once they were finished and Edelgard ordered her back to her room, she was going to put it into action. First, she was going to stretch out on Edelgard’s bed and look as cute as possible. Next, she was going to bat her eyelashes and plant a couple of little kisses on Edelgard’s cheek. Finally, she was going to ask if she could just stay for one night, just this once, pretty please?

It wasn’t a particularly _good_ plan, but it was all she had been able to come up with on the three or four hours of sleep she had gotten the night before. A master tactician, she was not.

***

It was warm in Edelgard’s room, that night. She had lit several lanterns on the walls before Hilda had even arrived, and they did a remarkably good job at keeping the cold away, since the room was so small. This was very good, because Hilda was laying on her back, stark naked, covered in sweat, and her arms were bound behind her back quite firmly. The arm bindings were new. Usually, Edelgard just told her to hold still or grip the sheets, and that was the end of it, but Hilda had begun to probe the limits of the other woman’s patience. Incidentally, those limits ended just shy of Hilda reaching up and tweaking Edelgard’s nose with one finger and telling her how cute she was when she was angry.

Edelgard frowned down at Hilda. “You don’t have an ounce of discipline in your frustrating little body, do you?” 

“Isn’t... that what you’re supposed to be... teaching me? I’m not a very good student... but I’m trying!” Hilda replied between shuddering, post-climax breaths. She gave Edelgard her most winsome smile. Edelgard rolled her eyes and raised the riding crop Hilda had filched from the stables at her request. That was also new. “Okay, sorry, sorry, my bad- _ow_!” she cried out as the crop came down hard on her thigh, adding another likely red welt to a collection of several on each leg. Hilda had requested that Edelgard not hit her in the face anymore. Not that she minded the action itself, but it did mean she had to apply her makeup very carefully or risk facing some uncomfortable questions.

“You are absolutely incorrigible,” Edelgard said with a sigh.

“I don’t know the meaning of the word!” Hilda protested.

“I don’t doubt that.” Edelgard rolled Hilda over so she could get at the ropes on her wrists. She untied them carefully and rubbed the places they had dug into Hilda’s skin.

Although the two of them had not really approached anything close to a courting relationship, or even a friendship, Edelgard had grown just a bit more gentle as they had grown more familiar with each other. Hilda suspected she was beginning to break through Edelgard’s forced detachedness. “How do your wrists feel? I don’t want any complaints from you about dropping your axe during sparring tomorrow.”

“Just fine,” Hilda sighed, wiggling her fingers where Edelgard could see them. She nodded approvingly. Edelgard was no longer wearing makeup for their meetings, but Hilda thought she looked no less beautiful, and it was difficult to tear her eyes away. “I have a request, Edelgard.”

“Speak,” she said, coiling the rope and putting it away in a drawer before turning to look back at her partner. Hilda stretched out on Edelgard’s bed and buried her hands beneath her pillows, trying to make herself look as appealing as possible. She laid her head down and nuzzled the pillow beneath her. Since Edelgard was standing, she couldn’t kiss her, but she could, and did, bat her eyelashes.

“Well…” she purred, “I’m really tired, Edelgard. Like, really really tired. And last night, I almost ran into someone out for a late night walk right as I stepped out of your room. And your bed is so comfy. I think it’s nicer than mine, actually, which doesn’t seem fair.”

“Your point?” Edelgard asked, her face impossible to read.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” she asked, breaking the unspoken agreement the two of them had kept since their first nighttime meeting. Edelgard asked her to leave each time, and Hilda did so, simple as that. Nothing else had ever been discussed, no other options had been considered. Their trysts had been almost like business transactions, a mutual agreement to relieve stress and work through their unfortunate reciprocal physical attraction. 

“Absolutely n-” Edelgard began, before there was a sharp knock at the door. They looked at each other, trading wide-eyed glances, before Hilda jumped out of the bed and scrambled to go stand behind the door, so that it could be opened safely without revealing her presence. Edelgard took a moment to check her reflection in her mirror before opening the door just enough for whoever was on the other side to see her face. A rush of chill night air flooded the room and Hilda, still unclothed, clutched her arms around her to try to keep warm.

“Good evening, Lady Edelgard, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” said an unfamiliar male voice. “And I certainly hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, you didn’t, I was studying,” she said evenly, the lie coming to her lips without hesitation. Hilda found herself both impressed and concerned. “What is it?”

“Well, there’ve been reports that someone is prowling around this walkway late at night around this time. We haven’t been able to identify who, but just to be safe, we’re putting a guard just out here for the night to keep an eye on this section of rooms. Hopefully we can catch them, eh?” said the man, probably a guard captain.

“That...won’t be necessary, sir,” Edelgard said, her tone leaving little room for disagreement. When the man spoke again, he sounded apologetic.

“I am sorry, Lady Edelgard, but it isn’t up to me. Orders are from Alois based on an anonymous tip. You’ll never even know he’s here, I promise. I just thought I should warn anyone still awake.” There was a moment of silence before Edelgard sighed.

“I understand. Thank you for attending to your duty so meticulously,” she said, closing the door and stepping back. She looked at Hilda accusatively, and Hilda realized she probably thought _she_ had submitted the information. “Well?”

“It wasn’t me, I _swear_ , I had no idea that was going to happen,” she exclaimed, putting up her hands defensively. Edelgard looked at her hard for a long moment, then snorted and turned away.

“I suppose I believe you, although you were almost certainly the person they saw ‘prowling around’ out there. And it looks like you get your wish, because you certainly can’t go back to your room with a watch posted outside. You’ll just have to leave after me in the morning.”

“Yeah...I suppose so.” Hilda stepped back out of the corner, retrieved her panties, and stepped into them. She figured it would at least be a little more proper if she was wearing _something_. “I’m sorry, Edelgard, I didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want to do.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Hilda. Just get in bed and keep your hands to yourself. I suppose I can trust you to do that much?” she asked. “Now, turn around for a moment.” Hilda looked at her quizzically, and Edelgard gave her a flat stare. “I need to change into nightclothes, and I would rather you didn’t stare at me.”

Hilda thought that was a little unfair, given that Edelgard had not only seen her completely nude, but had done some far more interesting things to her than simply stare. Nonetheless, she acquiesced, trying to ignore the prickle on the back of her neck as she heard Edelgard slip out of her robe and into a loose shirt and matching pants. 

“You may turn around now,” she said, and Hilda did so, trying very hard not to blush. Something about seeing Edelgard in casual clothes like that felt...even more intimate than seeing her in a robe, somehow? She couldn’t put her finger on exactly how or why, but it was enough to make her breath hitch. Edelgard’s expression didn’t change as Hilda looked at her, but she refused to meet her eyes. “We have busy days tomorrow, I suppose we should try to sleep. Get up.”

“Huh?” Hilda asked, obeying but looking very obviously confused. Was Edelgard going to try to make her sleep on the floor?

“I don’t want you behind me,” she said, still refusing to meet Hilda’s eyes. “Just allow me this, Hilda. It makes me uncomfortable enough to be sharing a bed, but I know I can trust you. If you’re behind me, I won’t be able to sleep at all.” She sounded almost angry, but Hilda got the feeling Edelgard was not angry with _her_. 

Hilda felt a pang of...something. Pity? Pain? Concern? She didn’t know anything about Edelgard’s past, she’d never volunteered and Hilda had never asked, but she suspected from the number of scars she’d seen on Edelgard’s body that she hadn’t had an easy time before coming here. What had happened to her to make her afraid of turning her back on someone she knew wouldn’t hurt her?

Edelgard extinguished the lanterns on the walls, leaving the room dark but for the faint moonlight streaming in the windows behind them, and slid into the bed, shimmying under the covers on her side and putting her back to the cold stone wall. Hilda couldn’t see anything in the dark room, but oddly, she didn’t mind. She...well, she used to say she hated Edelgard, but now she knew that to be foolish. She’d never really hated the woman. She might not _love_ Edelgard, but she knew she could trust her, and the idea of sleeping in the same bed was more than a little titillating on its own. 

So she followed suit, trying very hard not to think too hard about the fact that being all the way on the bed involved feeling Edelgard touching her in several places along her back. She tried _extra hard_ not to think about the fact that she could feel Edelgard’s breath on the back of her neck. Hilda shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold setting in around them.

***

It was late at night, though Hilda had no way of knowing exactly what time, when she woke up with a start to the feeling of something or someone moving at her back. She shoved down an initial panicked cry when she remembered that she was sleeping in Edelgard’s bed that night, and that Edelgard had insisted on being behind her. She rolled over to face the other girl, and saw, in the moonlight, that her face was twisted as though she were in pain, as though she was being attacked by an invisible assailant. Hilda could see tears shining on Edelgard’s cheek, and she thought she could hear her mumbling something in her sleep in a low, disorganized voice. 

  
Edelgard thrashed, then curled in on herself protectively, but the tears continued to flow and her voice increased in volume until Hilda could make out just the barest hint of what she was saying.

“...no, no no no. Not them. Not them. Don’t take them, take me. Not them, please, please, please not them, please, you can’t, you can’t, take me instead, please just don’t hurt them anymore, please…”

Hilda’s blood ran cold at the naked terror in Edelgard’s voice and she realized that this was no simple nightmare. Edelgard was reliving something horrible and painful while she slept, and she didn’t know what to do. Should she wake Edelgard up, and risk making her angry with her? Should she just give her space? Should she try to sneak back over to her room, damn the guard out front?

Should she try to help?

Edelgard had told her to keep her hands to herself, but surely she was referring to untoward advances, right? Did she even know she did this when she slept? And if Hilda _did_ lay hands on her, would it make things better or worse? Edelgard continued to repeat her pained, pleading mantra, her volume falling back down enough that Hilda couldn’t hear it clearly anymore, but she knew it hadn’t changed. Hilda made up her mind. She had to try something, rivalry or no, enemies or not, she was still a human being.

Slowly, as though reaching for a scared, wounded animal, Hilda adjusted her position so she was comfortable on her side, and slid one arm under the pillow Edelgard’s head was resting upon. She raised her other arm, still moving at the speed of flowing molasses, and draped it over Edelgard’s curled-up form. Edelgard flinched, and Hilda did as well, fearing she had awoken both her partner and her partner’s wrath, but her body relaxed, and Hilda heaved a sigh of relief. She pulled herself in close, so that the two of them were forehead-to-forehead, and she could feel Edelgard’s body uncurl, just a little, so that they were nearly mirroring each other’s positions. She could feel Edelgard’s legs against hers, and as one of Edelgard’s moved back slightly, Hilda’s moved forward, twining their bodies together in a gentle embrace.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Hilda whispered, rubbing Edelgard’s back slowly, softly. “You’re safe here. Nobody’s going to hurt you, I promise.”

Edelgard’s mumbling stopped, her painful expression went slowly soft and neutral, and her breathing became even. Hilda smiled slightly, relieved, and glad that her idea had worked. She settled in to go back to sleep, with Edelgard in her arms.

No, she thought to herself, as she drifted off. A master tactician she was not. Hilda did not spin plans or schemes. She couldn’t save the world, she couldn’t always seize victory from the jaws of defeat. But she could do this much. And for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me on twitter @spiderlilywrite


	8. In which Edelgard makes a choice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard wakes up next to Hilda and carves her own path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day, because I love ya!

The next morning, Edelgard awoke to sunlight filtering in through the windows behind her bed and landing right on her face. She had slept a little longer than she meant to, but that was okay, it was her day off. Usually she spent that time catching up on her studies, or fishing, or discussing future plans with Hubert. Today, though, she didn’t know what she was going to do. The entire day stretched out before her, full of opportunity. It was almost enough to make her anxious. She felt unusually well rested, though, and figured she ought to take advantage of that.

Edelgard’s eyes fluttered, and she tried to stretch, but found that there was an obstacle in her way. She gasped aloud when she opened her eyes all the way and saw Hilda’s peaceful sleeping face framed by a mess of pink hair. That’s right, she thought to herself, trying to calm down. They had been stuck in her room together last night. But when she had fallen asleep, Hilda had certainly been facing the other way, and…

Color rose in her face as she realized she wasn’t just looking at Hilda, the two of them were tangled together. Their legs were interlaced and she could feel one of Hilda’s arms draped across her body, could feel her fingers holding on. It was more close physical contact than she’d had with anyone in a very, very long time and although her first impulse was to pull away, she stifled it. She wasn’t sure how they had ended up together like this, but she was going to let it continue as long as she could.

She just watched Hilda for a while, simply laying in her embrace and watching her chest rise and fall as she slept. Hilda was often an irritating little brat while she was awake, it was true, but asleep? She looked so gentle. She could feel Hilda’s breath on her cheek, she was so close and the room was so quiet that she would swear she could hear the girl’s heartbeat. It was magical, and it made her ache, knowing she couldn’t have this forever, not with anyone. It wasn’t fair, but she knew life wasn’t about to start being fair to her now after so many years.

“I wish we could have this...” she muttered to herself, blinking away tears. 

No, why  _ shouldn’t  _ she have this? She knew what the next few years would likely entail, if she even managed to survive the coming months. Hubert had told her to be careful to manage her expectations, and every logical voice in her head told her that anything more than what they had been doing, and probably even that, was going to end in pain.

But it might be her only chance.

It was a sobering thought. What if she _ didn’t  _ survive the next few months, or few years? What if Rhea found out what she and Hubert had been planning, or what if she was struck down in battle? Wouldn’t she like to be able to say that she had experienced as much of life as possible? Wouldn’t she like to be able to say she...loved, and was loved in return?

A foolish idea. Hilda wouldn’t agree to such a thing. The two of them were partners for the sake of physical satisfaction, nothing more. The woman had made her enmity quite clear on more than one occasion. Although, there had been last night’s request. That spoke of more than simply physical attraction, did it not? Edelgard had been prepared to deny her, but Hilda had still asked. She’d wanted to spend time with her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, frustrated, annoyed at her own indecisiveness. It wasn’t like her to be so unsure of herself, but something about Hilda made her question what she thought were long-standing, long-held beliefs about her life and the way it had to go. Maybe she didn’t have to be alone, at least not right now. Maybe it would be worth the pain.

To her, perhaps. But would it be worth it to Hilda? Her heart ached low and slow at the thought. If Hilda  _ did _ wish to court her, if they  _ did _ decide to pursue more for themselves than physical pleasure, what would Hilda think when Edelgard had to betray her? When Edelgard had to betray all of the other students, and the Church, and the Alliance, and the Kingdom, when she had to set herself against the whole world? Could she do that to her?

Edelgard looked down at the young woman sleeping soundly in the sheets beside her, who wiggled a bit, adjusting her position to be slightly more comfortable without waking up. It made Edelgard smile, the expression just barely tugging at the corners of her mouth. She reached out and stroked Hilda’s hair, feeling the silken strands slide between her fingers as she did. Hilda had such beautiful hair, she thought to herself. It fit the rest of her.

The rest of her. Feeling that color return to her cheeks, she looked down and beheld Hilda’s form, for what she could. Down to her waist, where the soft sloping lines of her body were interrupted by the band of her undergarments, and back up again, Edelgard trailed her gaze lasciviously. She had touched Hilda, she’d seen her, but rarely did she take time to truly look and appreciate her. She was perfect, Edelgard thought appreciatively. She reached out hesitantly and touched Hilda’s waist, feeling the smooth, flawless skin as she trailed her fingers up her body and to her breast, of which she stopped just shy. Edelgard froze as Hilda squirmed.

  
  


“Stop, mmm ticklish…” she mumbled in her sleep, but she remained settled where she was. Edelgard pulled her hand back, cursing her foolishness. If Hilda woke up and found Edelgard touching her, she would know  _ exactly _ what was on her mind. 

Did Edelgard care, at this point, if Hilda knew? Would it change anything? Probably not.

She made her decision. Edelgard von Hresvelg was not wont to run from her troubles. She did not hide, cower, or flee, and she was ashamed for having done so up to this point. Edelgard von Hresvelg saw the future she desired and seized it, let come what may.

***

“Hilda, wake up,” a voice urged, gently. “It’s quite late, already. Do you want to sleep the whole day away?” the voice asked, sounding almost chastising. 

“Yes,” she mumbled grumpily, without opening her eyes. There was a sigh, followed by a sudden pressure on her cheek. A hand, warm and soft.

“Hilda, wake up or I’m going to kick you out of the bed,” the voice threatened. Her brain was all fuzzy, but she recognized the person speaking. Edelgard. Of course, she would be an early riser. Of course she would.

“Noooooo…” she whined, tightening her grip on...on what?” Her hand was holding something soft and warm that felt like cloth. Or like it was covered in cloth. Without opening her eyes, she recalled the events of the evening before, and of waking up in the middle of the night. Oh. She was holding onto Edelgard. Yikes. She supposed she was going to have to confront that.

“If you don’t think I can pry your hand off me and  _ then _ kick you to the floor, you’re mistaken. Eyes open,” she said. Now  _ there _ was the Edelgard she knew. Hilda groaned and rubbed her eyes, then opened them to behold Edelgard’s face, still close to hers as it had been during the night. She almost cried out in shock. Oh, she was going to be in so much trouble. Edelgard was going to toss her out of bed and out the door without any clothes and never let her come back and- “Hilda, what’s the matter?” she asked, interrupting Hilda’s extremely vivid mental picture of her wrath. 

“I’m sorry! Sorry, super sorry. I know you said not to touch you, but…” she let go of Edelgard’s nightshirt and pulled her hand back quickly. “You uh...last night, you were having a bad dream and I wanted to help and it looked really scary, and I didn’t know what else to do, and-”

“Hilda! Slow down, you’re not making any sense. Breathe.”

She withdrew her hand from Hilda’s cheek. Hilda obeyed.

“I woke up in the middle of the night last night,” she began, after reminding herself to slow down. “You were having a nightmare, or something. Your face was all twisted up and you were mumbling something and...uh...crying.”

“I see,” Edelgard said, not meeting Hilda’s eye. Was she...embarrassed?

“And I just wanted to help. So I kind of...reached over, and I rubbed your back, and I talked really quiet, and it seemed to help a little bit, because you calmed down and slept normally again. And I guess I just, like, fell asleep that way?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah so, really sorry, did not mean to offend you or anything. And I suppose I should probably get moving since it’s morning and all, so, thanks for letting me stay here and not throwing me to the guards. Appreciate it.” Hilda began to roll over so she could untangle their legs, get out of bed, and begin to collect her things, but Edelgard reached out and caught her arm.

“Stay. We need to talk about something,” Edelgard said, then took a deep breath herself. First embarrassed, now  _ nervous _ ? What dark force had stolen Edelgard away in the night and replaced her with this openly emotional duplicate?

“I...guess I can do that,” Hilda said, hesitantly, before returning to laying on her side, facing Edelgard. “Talk about what?”

There was a momentary pause, then Edelgard sighed. “Hilda,” she said, “How do you feel about this current arrangement between us?” she asked. Hilda chewed on her words. Be honest, or lie to her? Well, she was already in pretty deep as a result of their connection the night before. Fuck it.

“Honestly, Edelgard? I’m kinda frustrated with you,” Hilda said, huffing. “You call me up here like you’re picking fruit from a stall, play with me like a toy, which you’re really good at, don’t get me wrong, then send me packing to my own bed so you can keep up this illusion of being a one-woman-island. But I’m a little tired of it. I’m missing sleep, I feel all emotionally mixed up, and while, again, you’re really good at what you do, I feel...used.” Hilda hugged her arms over her chest.

“I see. I’m...sorry,” Edelgard said, simply. Hilda blinked.

“You’re what?”

“I’m sorry, Hilda. That’s not fair to you.”

Okay, this was new. “Yeah, you’re right, it’s not!” she exclaimed, emboldened by Edelgard’s apology. She raised her voice slightly. “Dammit, Edelgard, I understand you have appearances to keep up, that’s cool, I can respect that. I might not be royal, but I am a noblewoman and I understand the importance of propriety.” 

She took a breath before continuing, struggling to keep her tone even.

“But when we’re here alone, when it’s just the two of us, and you’re still touching me like I’m an object to you, it kind of fucking hurts. And I just accepted it because I feel like it’s the best I was gonna get. But I can’t even flirt, Edelgard. Do you know how much I like to flirt with people? Especially girls? Goddess, I can’t even do that anymore. You’re in my head, and you’ve given me basically nothing of yourself, but I still feel like I owe you somehow. Owe you loyalty or, I don’t know, fucking fealty or something? It’s confusing, and it’s not fair, but it is what it is I guess, so, like, why do you fucking ask, I guess?” she finished, surprisingly energetic and angry for so early in the morning.

“I’m so sorry Hilda,” Edelgard said again, something glinting on her cheek. What the fuck? Was she…

“Are you  _ crying _ ?” Hilda asked, shocked. “Oh shit, goddess, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“ _ Hilda _ ,” Edelgard said, groaning. “Just give me a second, alright? I’m not used to this.” She reached up and wiped off her cheeks. She sniffled. It was actually kind of cute. Last night, Edelgard had been just about as cold as ever, and now she was, comparatively speaking, baring her entire heart and soul. What the  _ fuck _ was happening?

“Yeah, uh. Okay.”

Edelgard took a deep breath. “Alright. Thank you. Again, I apologize. I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length and it wasn’t fair to you, but you deserve the truth. I have stronger feelings for you than I admitted. It’s more than just physical, but I was hoping I could keep it at that because I was afraid of what might happen to us if I didn’t. This is new ground for me, and I’m not sure where to go from here, but I am  _ truly _ sorry for how I treated you, and I want to know what I can do to make up for it.”

Hilda’s heart skipped a beat. Edelgard was admitting it. Claude had suggested Edelgard wanted more than just an enemies-with-benefits relationship, but neither of them had even considered for a moment that she might just straight-up  _ admit it. _ She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. Her brain whirled through a million possibilities all at once and it was overwhelming, so she just said the first thing that came to mind.

“I want to kiss you.”

Now it was Edelgard’s turn to blink in shock. “You want to...kiss me? But we’ve kissed before, more than once. Why do-”

  
“No,” Hilda interrupted. “ _ You _ have kissed  _ me _ . You always initiate. You always lead. You always need to have control, have the power.  _ I  _ want to kiss  _ you _ for a change. Those are my demands. If you want to make up for being a huge, massive bitch to me, that’s what I want.”

Edelgard appeared to be considering it for a moment, and then, trembling, she nodded. She was actually  _ trembling _ . Was not having control really that much of a struggle for her? “Okay. You may kiss me.” She closed her eyes and waited, her breathing quick and shallow. This...was really hard for her. Wow. But she had agreed, so…

Hilda leaned forward toward her, closing what little distance was necessary. She reached one arm up and buried her fingers in Edelgard’s beautiful platinum hair, not pulling, but holding, as their lips crashed together. It was somehow almost completely unlike anything they had done before. While they had kissed, and passionately at that, Edelgard taking the lead had always extended to the act itself, beyond just initiation. This time, Hilda pressed forward, deepening the kiss, sliding her tongue between Edelgard’s lips and flicking it against her teeth playfully. Edelgard whimpered into Hilda’s mouth, and it was  _ so cute _ , Hilda could have just died. Having this powerful, domineering woman at her mercy was absolutely intoxicating, and she kept pressing forward.

The two of them continued for what felt like hours and seconds at the same time, only briefly breaking contact for air before returning to each other with a mad fervor. It took a while before they had to break apart, and both women were red-faced and breathing heavily. Hilda beheld her partner.

“I...oh...wow,” Hilda said, her heart feeling as though it was going to pound out of her chest.

“That was...interesting,” Edelgard breathed. Her eyes were wide and she looked at Hilda as though she were the goddess herself. “I’m...beginning to understand where you saw the difference between...erm...kissing and being kissed.”

There was a silence between them.

“Now what?” Edelgard asked, quietly.

“I don’t know. I think maybe...I should go back to my room, though. Otherwise, we might be here a while.” She laughed, nervous and giddy at the same time.

Edelgard smiled weakly at her, and Hilda could swear there was just a tiny bit of sadness behind her eyes. No. Surely she imagined it, right? 

“We’ll talk more later?” Edelgard asked.

“Yeah. We will.” 

As Hilda dressed, the silence this time was companionable, gentle, and contemplative. She finished putting all of her clothes back on and strode back to the bed. Emboldened by their actions a few minutes ago, she leaned down and pecked Edelgard on the forehead. Edelgard scowled. “Don’t get cocky,” she said, frowning. Hilda winked down at her and made her way to the door, waving as she left.

“Good morning, Edelgard.”

***

Hilda made it back to her room without incident and she thanked the goddess for that. It was only the next room over, but she was still paranoid someone might see her and ask some uncomfortable questions about why she was slipping out of Edelgard’s bedroom early in the morning. When she opened her door, she somehow knew what she would find before she even saw it.

“Good morning, Claude,” she said, glaring at him. “I take it you’re here to be smug about something?”

“You know me so well, Hilda!” he said, from her bed, beneath her covers. “I knew your room wouldn’t be getting any use last night, so I thought I would try sleeping somewhere new! Great bed by the way. Did you bring it from home?” Claude laced his hands together behind his head and looked up at her, barely restraining a shit-eating grin. “You had a good night, I hope?”

“You absolute bastard!” Hilda snapped. “ _ You _ submitted that tip to Alois, didn’t you?”

“You absolutely  _ cannot _ prove that I’m a bastard; people have tried. But did it work? How did things go? Are you two engaged to be married? Am I being glared at by a future empress of the Adrestian Empire?”

Hilda groaned. She should have known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me @spiderlilywrite on twitter!


	9. In which Edelgard and Claude have a friendly chat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Claude find they have a shared interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter one this time. Am I trying to procrastinate before I have to write the horror of Remire and the pain it visits on our leads? Maybe.
> 
> Enjoy!

After checking her appearance in the mirror by her door and ensuring that everything was proper and that her _engagement_ with Hilda hadn’t put anything too terrible out of place, she stepped outside into the morning sun. It was nearly blinding at first, but she felt better after a moment of adjusting to the light. It was a nice day, she decided, not too terribly chilly, but not too warm either. She felt the cool breeze gently tousle her hair and clothes, and smiled a quiet, contented smile. Things had gotten off to a good start. 

There was a voice in her head of course, telling her that she was being foolish for doing what she had done with Hilda, but she tried to stifle it. She knew she was being ridiculous. She knew she would have to get an earful from Hubert later. But when she reflected on Hilda kissing her so passionately about an hour ago, she decided it was worth whatever frustration she had coming.

She walked down the pathway past the other bedrooms, enjoying the morning air and intending to head to the dining hall for some breakfast, when she heard a crash off to her left behind one of the doors. Hilda’s room, she realized with a start. She turned to look as the door flew open and she heard part of a loud, but not quite shouted, conversation.

“...conniving shithead, get out of my room!” Hilda growled. Edelgard heard sounds of a struggle and, just as she leaned forward to peek inside and see what on earth was happening in there, a person-sized yellow-clad mass of limbs flew out the entryway and landed, hard, on the ground in front of her. The door slammed shut with an angry, near deafening boom.

Edelgard looked down at Claude curiously, trying to see if he was okay, but was shocked to find that he was _laughing_ , of all things. What a strange man, he was. “Claude?” she asked cautiously. “Are you alright?”

He looked up at her and only laughed harder, before cutting off quickly and hissing in pain. “Mostly, I think. Hilda’s got a hell of an arm on her, doesn’t she?” he asked, rolling over onto his back so he could look up at Edelgard. “I think I have a few scrapes, but I’ll be fine. I had it coming anyways.”

Edelgard rolled her eyes and went to step around him, but he put a hand out to stop her. “Hang on, princess,” he said, still wearing his usual frustratingly confident smile, handsome in its own way. “I don’t suppose I could get your help up to the infirmary? I could use some of those little bandages from Manuela.” She frowned down at him.

“You’re fine, Claude, just go yourself. I have things to do today.” Edelgard sighed and moved to step over his hand, but he grabbed at her boot.

“Wait, wait wait, how could you just leave me here, defenseless and abused? I’m hurt, princess, and I don’t just mean externally!” he protested. “I haven’t actually had a chance to talk to you since, what, Remire Village, when we met Teach? Come on, surely you’re not _that_ busy.”

Edelgard hesitated. She wasn’t actually all that busy, but she also wasn’t sure she wanted to spend more time around Claude than was absolutely necessary. He was too clever by half, and had an annoying tendency to puzzle her out in ways she wasn’t overly comfortable with. The last thing she needed was him figuring out her grand plan 

But...he was Hilda’s best friend. Surely he couldn’t be that bad? And would it bother Hilda if she ignored him? She groaned, in a put-upon and frustrated sort of way. Claude grinned even wider, knowing he had her beat. “Great, can you help me up?”

She reached down a hand and he took it, letting her haul him to his feet. He made a surprised noise at the ease with which she did so, as indeed, it was relatively effortless for her. “Wow, princess. I knew you were strong, but you just about yanked my arm out of its socket.”

“Keep calling me princess and I still might,” she said, grumpily. He chuckled to himself, putting a hand on her shoulder and walking beside her toward the infirmary with a clearly exaggerated limp.

“So, what have you been up to lately? Keeping busy, I imagine. Between the studying, fighting, and practicing your glares, I can’t say I’d expect you to have a whole lot of time for much else- ah! There’s that glare! You’re really improving.”

“I can just drop you, Claude. You’re making the choice to do so very easy on me,” she warned as they approached the stairs leading down to the ground. “And I think falling down these stairs would hurt a lot worse than Hilda pitching you out of her room.”

“Maybe…” he said, remaining silent until they reached the bottom and kept walking toward Manuela’s office. “But wouldn’t your girlfriend be upset with you if I broke my neck? She kind of likes me for some reason, after all.”

Edelgard stopped, feeling a chill run through her that was entirely unrelated to the weather. “What are you talking about?” she hissed, keeping her voice low. “Are you out of your mind, Claude?”

“Whoa, easy there princess. Your reaction would have confirmed it for me if I didn’t already know, but you can relax. I’m the only one who does. Hilda hasn’t told anyone.”

“Anyone except for you, you mean,”

“No, she hasn’t told _anyone_. Don’t get mad at her on my account. I figured it out all on my own, I’m just that smart. When she spends several months trying obsessively to beat you up, then stops doing that, and also disappears for a few hours before bed every once in a while, it’s not hard to put the clues together,” he said, quietly, calmly. “It isn’t her fault.”

Edelgard drew her lips to a line, suspicious, but kept walking forward, and Claude kept up with her. Had she really not told him? Was he telling her the truth, or just defending Hilda? “Fine. But she isn’t my ‘girlfriend’ as you put it. Her and I have a mutually beneficial arrangement of-”

“Yeah okay, whatever, I don’t actually want to know what you two get up to. But regardless of what ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’ you _did_ have, I suspect it’s something more than that now.”

“And what gives you that idea?” she asked neutrally.

“Hilda never came back to her own room last night. I would know, because I slept there.”

“Why were you sleeping in her room, Claude?” Edelgard demanded. “That’s highly improper.”

“Because I knew she wouldn’t be coming back to it.”

“And how did you know-” 

Suddenly, understanding dawned on Edelgard. “Ah. That’s why Hilda threw you out of her room so violently,” she said, casually. “I have half a mind to do the same.”

Claude winced. “I would rather you didn’t, if it’s alright with you. I’m already pretty delicate, and Hilda’s attempt on my life has left me direly wounded. I don’t know if I would survive.”

She snorted. 

“It wouldn’t actually make me feel any better, I suppose. So what do you want, then?” Edelgard asked. Claude was shrewd, surely there was something in this for him. “Is this blackmail? Were you orchestrating all of this for a chance to get some kind of information out of me on the threat of you spreading rumors of Hilda and I?” 

“Actually, no. If you have any good information you want to volunteer, we can pretend that’s why I did what I did yesterday, but my reasons are actually a little more altruistic than that.”

“You, altruistic?” Edelgard asked, frowning. “I suppose I could believe that. What are they?”

  
“She’s my friend, and she likes you. And you’re kind of a tightass and I thought you could stand to get la-ouch!” Claude cried out as she kicked him in the side of the leg. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. All that built up tension is- whoa!”

  
She dropped him on the ground and he hit it with a surprised sounding yelp. “Are you quite finished, Claude?” she asked, color blooming in her cheeks and putting her hands on her hips. “My bedroom habits are of no concern to you.”

“Yeah, alright, I’m finished with that,” he said, with a pained grunt as he heaved himself up on one knee, then stood. “Jokes aside, I just want to see Hilda happy. She’s been putting in a lot of work for you, and a lot of thought. Do you know how rare that is? I’ve known her for years and I think the last time she put this much effort into something other than getting out of work was when she first started learning to fight from Holst almost a decade ago.”

Hilda, putting in effort for her? Thinking about her? She had to admit, it felt nice to hear that. “Well, that’s actually very sweet of you, Claude. I’m surprised to hear it,” she said, sincerely, letting him put his hand on her shoulder again. His limp seemed a little more real this time. 

“Right. So. My point is that I wanted to spend a little bit of time with my best friend’s new girlfriend, because it occurred to me that I know almost nothing about you, and I want to make sure I can trust you to treat her okay.”

“You’re doing this _after_ you already stuck us in a room together all night?” she asked, bluntly, as they began to climb the stairs to the upper offices where Manuela kept her space. It was a difficult walk with Claude leaning on her, but they managed.

“Better late than never, right?” he asked. “Besides, I wasn’t totally sure my stunt was going to work last night. I thought there was a pretty good chance you would kick her out anyways, or maybe you’d be finished with your ‘bedroom habits’, as you call it, by the time the guards arrived. I didn’t want to clue you in.”

“You really are a bit of a bastard, Claude,” Edelgard said. His schemes were frustrating at the best of times, but his interference in her and Hilda’s relationship and its subsequent deepening were going to make things incredibly difficult for her, and while he couldn’t have known exactly _how_ it was going to make things difficult, he had to known on some level that it would.

“Nobody’s been able to prove it, so far,” he said, flashing her one of his trademark smiles. “You’d be surprised how often people say that, though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on twitter @spiderlilywrite
> 
> Thank you so, so much to all the people leaving kind comments and giving me feedback, both here and on twitter. It means a ton to me to know that I'm making people happy with what I'm doing. Every time someone leaves me one, it makes me smile a mile wide. Special thanks again to [Tansybells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells) for beta reading this for me and helping me catch some awkward phrasing.


	10. In which there is pain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War is not hell. War is war, and hell is hell, and of the two, war is far worse, for there are no innocent bystanders in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, just a heads up, this one gets pretty intense. It's violent and anxiety inducing, and pretty emotionally raw. Reader discretion is advised.

_About two weeks later._

_25th day of the Red Wolf Moon_

_Remire Village_

Hilda had attended a play with Holst when she was younger. It had been based on a story that was supposedly part of an old religion. She didn’t know the name of the play or the religion, but she remembered the story itself. 

In the play, the main character, a greedy, miserly aristocrat, died at the very beginning, and the rest of the story chronicled their journey through the afterlife. The play said that there were two different places that a person’s soul would travel to once their body died. The first was a happy, pleasant place, where the person could live out the rest of eternity in paradise, surrounded by friends and loved ones, and they had everything they could ever want right in front of them. The aristocrat did not get to stay there. 

The second of these was a dark, scary place. When a soul was sent there, it was because they were an evil person while they were alive and they were found to be deserving of punishment for eternity. They were subjected to a neverending gauntlet of horror and pain, and it was said to be the worst thing that could ever happen to a person, worse than anything they could possibly see while they were alive. That had always struck Hilda as a little bit extreme. 

The aristocrat begged and pleaded to be set free, cried that they would change their ways, they would be better, that they would earn their way to the good place. But they were denied, and they remained in the dark place for the rest of time.

The play was supposed to be a cautionary tale about spending your life doing good deeds for others, and avoiding things like greed, abuse, or violence. She supposed it was a good story, especially for children who didn’t know any better. 

Hilda knew better, now. She knew there would never- _could_ never- be a place as horrible as Remire Village.

Hilda stepped forward through the smoke from burning houses, the smell of it mingling with the metallic scent of spilled blood and the sickening, charred odor of burning flesh. She had the rest of the Golden Deer behind her. She was strong. She could do this. She wore the armor, she was the one the rest of the class followed into battle. She was strong. She could do this. She could protect them. Keep them safe.

Her axe was covered in blood, and so was she. Innocent blood, she thought. The villagers were mad, but they weren’t evil. They came at her, and her instincts took over. She didn’t know what to do, so she raised her axe and cut them down, because she was strong, and because she had to, and because she had no choice. What if they got to Marianne? Or Claude? Or one of the innocent villagers they had been able to evacuate to their back lines. 

Something was wet on her face. Blood? Tears? Maybe. Probably both. Hilda’s eyes were cold, and she stepped forward again, trying not to choke. She was screaming inside, crying, pleading and praying for anything that could make sense of this, but no answer came. So she pushed those feelings away for later.

Another villager ran at her. Sane? Insane? She could see the whites of their eyes- of _his_ eyes; it was a man. He raised a farming sickle and Hilda screamed, raw and broken, charging forward. Thinking of her friends. Thinking of...of her lover. She had someone to go home to. She had to make it home. For that to happen, theman never would. She put all of her strength into the swing, hauling her battle axe in a wide horizontal arc as though she planned to throw it, and clove his top half from his bottom. It was clean. The two parts of the body hit the ground on either side of her, bouncing away like a grotesque marionette with its strings cut.

Another down. Another threat eliminated, another person who couldn’t threaten her friends. She heard, distantly, Byleth barking orders, and the rest of the line advanced behind her. But Hilda kept moving forward, heedless, because she was strong. She saw a group of robed figures in masks standing on the upper hills and outcrops of the village, watching impassively as the villagers slaughtered each other. Beyond them, she could see Solon, as he had introduced himself. Tomas, formerly. He had watched Hilda and her friends at Garreg Mach, he could have done this to any of them. This had been his doing. He watched the families slaughter each other down below with a calm detachedness, then open glee. Hilda hated him. She hated him and his servants, more cold, impassive watchers hiding behind black masks..

She pressed through the corpses littering the ground, and there were so many. There were so many corpses. There were men, women, children there. They never could have fought back. Their eyes were cold, colder than hers. She supposed she should count herself lucky, because she was strong enough to still be standing.

Hilda was definitely crying, now. The tears burned her eyes, almost as much as the smoke, but she continued forward, because she had to. She could hear arrows whistling past her, Claude covering her flank. Claude, goddess bless him, he was keeping her as safe as he could. Hilda watched one of the dark mages step out of the shadows with their hand outstretched. The mage screamed something, but just as a gout of flame began to jump from his hand, he was thrown backward with an arrow protruding from his mask. Good shot, Claude.

She moved forward, and another villager ran to her. Hilda lifted her axe, crying out in exhaustion, in pain, in fury, broken. The villager looked at her, and there was fear in her eyes, and Hilda realized this one had not been affected. She lowered her weapon and the woman ran to her, hugging her, screaming, and crying and hysterical, but Hilda couldn’t make out what she was saying. She wrapped one armored arm around the woman and squeezed gently, then turned her around and pointed to Marianne, who she could see in the distance trying to treat the wounded. The woman ran toward Marianne, and Hilda felt something like relief. Another safe. Some people would survive tonight, and that was something, she supposed.

Hilda heard a scream from inside one of the houses that had fallen in on itself. She looked up at Solon and his mages, and then to the house. She heard another scream, and took off running for the house. She had to kick the door down, but it was weakened from the fire that had ravaged the building before she arrived. She found the villager, trapped under a pile of wood and bricks. He was covered in blood. She reached down to try to haul him from under the wreckage, but her instinct made her stop, and she pulled away instead as the man grinned wickedly, and cackled, and swung out at her with a knife he had concealed under a plank of wood. Hilda turned to look behind her.

More bodies. Three. Knife wounds. She turned back to the man on the floor and with a cry of rage, slammed her axe down upon the man’s neck like an executioner and severed it clean from his shoulders. He didn’t scream, anymore. Hilda turned away and looked down at the floor, her face pale, her body shaking, and she retched, and vomited on the floor of the ruined house. She found a rag and wiped her face, going back outside. 

Jeralt was there, and he asked if there were any survivors. His eyes weren’t cold like hers, she figured he had seen things like this before. His were hard. She shook her head, and he put a gauntleted hand on her shoulder, nodded, and said something she couldn’t comprehend. His face was gentle, though, they were probably comforting. Hilda didn’t understand, she just turned and walked away once Jeralt did, continuing to the other end of the village where Solon waited. 

She could see the rest of her class. Raphael was pulling two people from the wreckage, gentle despite his size. Lysithea was trading magical blows with one of Solon’s mages, and managed to hit one square in the chest. He collapsed with a scream, and she took cover as another began to fire upon her position. Ignatz and Claude were working in tandem with their bows, covering each other, and the rest of her class, as best they could. Marianne was trying to heal the wounded enough that they could run away, and even from here, Hilda could see her face was ashen. Poor, gentle Marianne. She shouldn’t be here. Leonie walked with Jeralt and Lorenz, and the three of them fought off crazed villagers and armored enemies with more specialized weapons, their spears whirling like dancer’s batons. They were graceful together, precise. Byleth, their amazing teacher, she was engaging a few soldiers on her own. Of course she was. 

Hilda, she was near the front, because she was strong, and she could do it. She could do it, and she would. She dashed through the haze, and two of those darkly clad soldiers stepped from behind trees. Ambush. She didn’t care. Hilda lifted her axe to use the head to parry the blow from one of their swords, and she threw herself at him, fury incarnate. She could hear the people screaming, the villagers, her friends, and their terror made her fight twice as hard, because she knew if they got past her, more innocent blood would spill. Only two men? Easy.

The man tried to step backward and tripped, falling to the ground. He put up his hand, futilely, to try to stop her axe, but it came in and slammed against his chest, caving in his armor with a sickening crunch. She brought it down again, just to make sure, and she felt something give beneath the head of her weapon, and the man went still. Hilda turned to the other, covered in sweat, and blood, and tears, and he hesitated. Bad idea. Hilda lunged at him, too, and swung her axe at his leg with all the force her muscled arms and heavy armor would allow. He was armored too. She was stronger. His leg snapped beneath him, bending unnaturally backward and to the side under the sheer force of her axe, which functioned more like a hammer in that moment. He dropped as well, and she finished him off as she had done with the first.

Hilda turned around just in time to see another mage casting a spell at her from behind. Not two men. Three. That made sense. Smart move. She wasn’t able to dodge in time. A bolt of darkness, as though the night itself had taken shape, leapt forward from the mage’s hand and she felt it _through_ her armor. It was pain, so much more pain than she had ever felt before. Hilda dropped to her knees and gasped. Her armor couldn’t protect her from magic, and her head began to swim. Hilda was going to die here. They were going to kill her, and then the villagers, and then her friends. Then something happened. The energy stopped flowing, and she sucked in a breath, sharply.

She looked up at the mage who had been attacking her and saw a throwing axe embedded in his side. In his chest. She traced the trajectory of the weapon with her eyes and saw a figure standing, above, and away. The figure was tall, and dark, and seemed to have a pale, white and red and featureless face, with feathers ringing its shoulders. 

It looked at Hilda, and as she blinked her eyes, the figure was gone. She felt as though she had seen that person somewhere before. It didn’t matter. She could keep going. She had to keep going. Hilda heaved herself to her feet and groaned in pain. She was unsteady on her feet after that attack, but she forced herself forward.

She could see no more mages, but for Solon, standing on his fucking perch, looking down with disinterest. The knight in black armor who had been in the secret passage where they found Flayn was there, too, standing some distance away and watching...her. Specifically, looking down at her, Hilda. Of course he was. Why wouldn’t the knight and Solon be working together?

Hilda saw Byleth approaching Solon from the side and sighed in relief. If the professor was there, things would be okay. She saw the professor lash out with her sword, and it seemed almost as though it passed through Solon, who was suddenly standing several feet away from where he had been before. Byleth pressed the attack, and it happened again. A third time, Byleth struck, and Solon laughed, loud enough for Hilda to hear, before he vanished completely. Byleth stood, turning to look at the dark knight, who was still looking down at Hilda, and then he disappeared, too.

There were no more. The village was quiet, but for the crackling of the fire. It was eerie, she thought to herself as she leaned against a tree for support. The clamor and din of battle had been replaced with the same kind of silence you might hear around a campfire. She could feel the rush and high of battle begin to fade, and it left her with only pain, and fatigue, and numbness, and a curtain of black began to close in on her vision. She turned around just in time to see Marianne charging up to her like a madwoman before she crumpled to the ground.

***

She opened her eyes, and saw Marianne’s face, framed with blue hair that sat about her head like a halo, above her own. Her body glowed as she used her magic to heal Hilda’s wounds, just enough for her to be able to move to a seated position. Hilda thanked Marianne, reaching out and pulling her into a hug, being careful not to crush her in her armor. 

She let go, and looked up to the vantage where Byleth had fought Solon. Byleth and Jeralt were standing side by side. They were talking to...someone. She looked closer, squinting, and her stomach dropped as she realized she could make out a familiar pale and red face beyond the two of them.

Hilda stood, apologizing to Marianne for leaving so quickly, and began to sprint, full tilt, as fast as her legs could take her. She had to get there. She had to figure out who it was that had saved her from that mage who caught her by surprise. She knew she had seen that figure before, and she had to get closer to find out exactly where, or it was going to drive her absolutely mad.

As soon as she was close enough, she called out to her two comrades. “Jeralt, Professor!” she shouted, and the two of them turned around to look at her, seemingly surprised at her sudden arrival. She closed to within fifteen paces of them and in the blink of an eye, the person they had been speaking to had vanished again. Hilda drew up short, panting. 

“Fuck,” she said, before collapsing to the ground a second time.

***

They returned to the monastery as quickly as they could, with the scared, huddled survivors of Remire in tow. All told, there were less than a dozen, but she consoled herself with the reminder that had it not been for the Golden Deer, there might not have been any at all. That was as close to victory as one could get sometimes. 

She had helped, on the trip back. Tried to take care of the villagers, tried to comfort them and give them hope. She had been her usual, boisterous, loud-mouthed self, teasing her classmates and the knights that had been accompanying them in hopes that she might be able to coax a smile from the traumatized people. To her delight, she actually succeeded a few times. 

It was all she could do to push back the things she had seen, the memories of the battle at Remire, the images seared into her mind of dozens of pale faces with cold, lifeless eyes. Hilda didn’t sleep much on the return journey, when they made camp about halfway through. She laid down on her bedroll, and she cried quietly, but she only rested when unconsciousness from exhaustion took her by force.

They made it back to Garreg Mach some time later the next day, just before sundown, and before anything else, she went to go and take a bath. Hilda washed the grime of the road from her skin and changed into a fresh set of nightclothes, which helped just a little bit. She had rinsed the blood and sweat off herself in a river close to Remire just after they departed, but she could swear, even after that, even after the bath at Garreg Mach, her hands were still tinted with red from blood that had soaked through her gauntlets. She insisted to herself that she was imagining things. She had to be.

Hilda wasn’t sure why, but her feet didn’t carry her back to her own bedroom. It was dark, by the time she finished in the baths, and she knew she should be going to bed. Perhaps she was just too tired to even remember where she slept. She could tell herself that, right?

She raised a hand to knock on Edelgard’s door, once, twice, hard. She slumped against the frame, too exhausted to stand unaided and wait for it to swing open, even through it only took a few seconds.

Edelgard stood on the other side, wearing her nightclothes, a look of concern plain and shockingly visible on her face. That was new, Hilda thought to herself. Showing a _feeling_ out in public, where anyone walking past could see. She stood up straight, then began to sway, and fell forward.

***

Edelgard opened her bedroom door, knowing what she would find. Hilda stood before her, leaning on the doorframe. She tried to stand up away from it, and Edelgard watched as she began to fall toward her.

Her reflexes were fast enough to catch Hilda before she hit the ground, and she grunted at the sudden exertion, though she was able to guide Hilda into her room and to the bed. Hilda wasn’t unconscious, but she was obviously exhausted and having a very hard time staying upright, so Edelgard figured it might be best to have her sit down. “Hilda, are you okay?” she asked, worried. “Are you feeling sick? Do I need to get Manuela?”

“N...nuh-uh,” she mumbled, tilting her head to the side to look at Edelgard, who was kneeling by the bedside. Hilda sat upright, her back against the headboard, and pulled her arms and legs in on herself, as though she was protecting her midsection from something, or as though her core was hurting her terribly. 

“Are you certain? You look-”

She was interrupted as Hilda squeezed her eyes shut and tears began to flow from them, cascading down to the bed. The sobs came, powerful and aching and devastatingly broken. She sounded almost as though she was struggling to breathe, and then the sobs turned into wails, so loud that Edelgard would have been surprised if people couldn’t hear her from several doors down. 

She panicked internally, feeling as though her heart was being ripped in half as she watched Hilda go to pieces in front of her. She felt powerless, and she felt horribly guilty. Responsible. This was her fault, she knew, this was because of what she failed to stop at Remire. But she pushed her own feelings aside. She could deal with them later. 

Edelgard didn’t know what to do, so she did what she knew Hilda would do for her. She got on the bed next to her, on her knees, perpendicular to the other girl. With shaking arms, she reached out and wrapped herself around her, pulling Hilda close, loosely at first, then firmly, pressing their bodies together and laying her chin on Hilda’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Hilda,” she said quietly, rubbing her arm in what she hoped was a comforting way. “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

“Edelgard, there…” she began, between choked cries. “There were so many of them. So many people, and they were dead. And I couldn’t-” Hilda broke off and coughed, the cough turning into another bout of sobs and shuddering breaths. “I couldn’t save them, Edelgard. So many of them died. So many of them. And I killed some, too. Villagers. They were mad, they didn’t know what they were doing, and I killed them too!”

Edelgard, helpless, just held her and spoke slowly. “You’re okay Hilda, you’re here and you did the best you could. Nobody could ask for more. You protected yourself, and your classmates.”

Hilda opened her eyes, red from lack of sleep, and from crying, and Edelgard pulled back to look at her. “Edelgard,” she said, her voice slow and shaking. “Edelgard, I see them. When I close my eyes, I see them. I see their eyes, they’re watching me, and judging me, because I wasn’t fast enough, or strong enough. When it’s quiet, I hear the screaming again. I can’t-” she broke off and choked on her own tears, her voice raw when she began again. “I can’t close my eyes, I can’t sleep, I can’t be alone, because I see them again, and I watch them die, again, over and over in my head. I can’t, I can’t…” she repeated, before breaking down again.

Tears began to roll down Edelgard’s cheeks as well. She knew. She understood. Though she might have caused this by virtue of what she had done, and what she had failed to do, she could at least help Hilda while she was suffering. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“I know,” she whispered. “I see them too.”

There was a moment of near-silence, broken only by Hilda’s crying, which had grown quieter but no less intense.

“Wh-what do you do?” she asked, unsteadily. “How do you survive? How do you keep going?” Hilda pleaded with her. “How do you do it?”

Edelgard swallowed the lump forming in her throat, and spoke, confidently, with certainty, giving the only answer she had been able to hold onto for years.

“I remember those that we have lost. And I continue for those we might yet save.”

There was more silence, as Hilda took deep, calming breaths, her face red and tearstained as she turned to look at Edelgard. “I don’t get it,” she said, dejectedly, her tone more even now, but still haunted.

“Hilda,” she began. “The path we are walking is long. And it is bloody, and there will be death. There will be people, innocent and guilty, who will fall around you. Some of it will be your doing. Some of it will not. But you will save people, too. You’ll protect those who cannot protect themselves. You will treasure, and value, and hold close the memory of those that you have lost. And you will fight on, relentlessly, for those you can still save.”

Hilda looked at Edelgard, and she could see the resolve on her face. It made Edelgard proud. Hilda might be gentle, she might talk about being fragile and weak, but that was a facade. Hilda was _strong_. “I...think that makes sense,” she said, sniffling.

Acting purely on impulse, Edelgard learned in and kissed her, softly, chaste, on the lips, then withdrew. “You are powerful, Hilda. Mourn these losses. Pay respect to them. But never lose sight of what matters most. And carry the memory of those you have saved in your heart. They will make your burdens weigh a little bit lighter.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, accompanied only by their breathing and the beating of their hearts.

“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone,” Hilda asked, hesitantly, as though she were afraid Edelgard would be angry at her for asking.

“Absolutely. I...don’t want to be alone either, right now,” Edelgard replied. She stood up and walked around the room, blowing out the lanterns, leaving them only with the soft glow of the moon.

She slid into bed behind Hilda, who slept before her as before. Edelgard reached out an arm and draped it over Hilda’s torso, pulling her close, laying their bodies flush with each other, her nose just barely touching the back of Hilda’s neck. She could catch the scent of her, mingling with soap from the bath, and Hilda’s hair tickled her face until she brushed it aside.

Edelgard held Hilda close like that, still, but warm, until she felt the other girl’s breathing slow and could tell she had drifted off to sleep.

And then, in the darkness, silently, Edelgard shed her own tears. Tears for what she had done, what she had to do, and what she had failed to do. But with Hilda there in front of her, with her form nestled so perfectly into Edelgard’s own, the pain was just a little bit easier to bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I know that was a hard one for me to write, and probably for you to read. Yell at me on twitter @spiderlilywrite


	11. In which Hilda reflects.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda considers how far she's come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I wasn't just leaving this one! As you can see if you look at my works page, I've been busy. But I finally felt ready to come back to keep workin' on this monster. Thanks for being patient. This one's a little shorter, but it segues nicely into the next bit I have planned.

_1st Day, Ethereal Moon_

  
  


It was still strange, Hilda reflected upon waking up, to start the day in a room other than her own. One would think she would have been used to it by now, but while awakening with Edelgard’s arm draped across her and her breath hot on the back of her neck was certainly _pleasant_ , it was still strange.

After returning from Remire, she’d spent every night in Edelgard’s room.The first night, it had been because she was afraid to be alone with her thoughts. She was still struggling with the things she had seen and done there, but nothing had been quite so bad as that first evening back.

Now, she slept with Edelgard each night because while they were both too proud to admit it, they both slept more soundly together. Something about Edelgard’s presence let her chase her demons away, at least long enough to get some rest, and Hilda was grateful for that. When she’d felt like there was nowhere else she could turn, Edelgard had been there with kind words and open arms, even though it obviously hadn’t come naturally. Even now, it helped.

So she laid there for another few minutes in silence, listening to Edelgard’s breathing, feeling some solace in her embrace. Her partner’s forehead was against the back of Hilda’s, and their legs were tangled together as they often were, so she knew she wouldn’t be able to get up without waking her. She’d tried it before and ended up with a grumpy girlfriend as a result. 

A girlfriend. Hilda mouthed the word to herself, not even as loud as a whisper. After she’d confronted Edelgard about their dalliances and the odd rituals that accompanied them, the two women had moved into something resembling a romantic relationship. It was new ground for both of them, but Hilda was more than happy to tread that path as long as Edelgard was walking it alongside her. Gradually, little by little, Edelgard had even opened up to her a bit, and Hilda was confident that she knew more of Edelgard von Hresvelg than anyone in the world, except perhaps Hubert.

Their interactions in public were chaste, never more than holding hands or exchanging the occasional hug that could be denied and called friendly without much trouble. That had been pretty irritating at the start, but Hilda had gotten used to it. 

“I care very much for you, Hilda, but as heir to the throne of the Adrestian Empire, I do have appearances to maintain. I am sorry, but I hope you can understand,” Edelgard had said at the time, and while Hilda had thrown a fit about it, she _did_ understand. The future emperor being in an open, public relationship with Hilda Goneril would be considered improper at the very least, and while their friends almost certainly understood the truth of things, nobody spoke on it.

What mattered the most to Hilda, though, was that Edelgard didn’t deny her feelings in private anymore. Where previously, Edelgard had pretended to be exclusively interested in Hilda as a means to relieve their physical impulses, now she was honest. More honest than Hilda had ever seen her, and _Goddess_ , it was refreshing. 

They spent about three or four nights per week together, and in that time, Hilda had learned an awful lot. She knew Edelgard’s favorite tea (bergamot), that she enjoyed reading stuffy old history books, she liked the opera, and she liked to go for walks in nature. One night, when Edelgard was feeling particularly open, Hilda learned that Edelgard couldn’t swim, that she was afraid of the water. When she’d told Hilda that, Hilda had been rendered speechless for a good few minutes. It was something someone could use to hurt her, or tease her, or upset her, all things Hilda had gone to great lengths to _attempt_ to do, and she’d told Hilda anyways.

When they were together, in private, Edelgard would hold her, and kiss her, and be held and kissed in return. They would talk, both about the events of the day, and about themselves, and it was those little conversations that Hilda truly valued. Their relationship had changed so much, so fast, and it had all happened in those evenings spent in each others’ company, just _existing_.

Oh, they still absolutely had sex, of course. Hilda had discovered she had more than a small affinity for being tied up and given orders to defy, but there was something different about it now. Edelgard let her see beneath the cold, hard, disciplinarian mask she had initially worn, and it felt like she’d been given a gift that _nobody_ had ever been given before. Even if Edelgard was still reluctant to let Hilda touch her in those moments of intimacy, well, that was progress, right?

Hilda was startled from her thoughts as she felt Edelgard’s arm tighten around her, followed by a stirring from behind. The shock of it made Hilda flinch, but she recovered quickly enough. “Morning, Edelgard,” Hilda mumbled, trying to keep her tone low. She’d learned that Edelgard was easily startled upon waking.

There was a moment of silence before she got an answer.

“Good morning, Hilda.” came the words, spoken against her skin, and Edelgard’s voice was gentle. “How are you feeling today?” 

Hilda considered it. There was still a definite pain, coiled deep and tight inside her. She knew it would take a long time for it to go away, if it ever did. She carried the weight of what she had seen and done, and it was heavy on her shoulders. But she was improving every day, due in no small part to her partner’s staunch, stalwart presence. 

“I’m...alright,” she said, truthfully. “Not perfect, but alright.”

There came a sound of shifting cloth, blankets falling aside, and Edelgard drummed her fingers against Hilda’s stomach, thoughtfully, the tips beating a staccato rhythm. “Good. I’m glad to hear it,” she said, seemingly loath to move her hand away. Hilda certainly wasn’t about to push her. It was cold outside, and winter was settling around them in earnest. “We do have duties to attend to, today,” Edelgard added quietly. “Classes, chores, sparring.”

“Are you getting to a point?” Hilda teased. Edelgard’s tendency toward dramatic mini-speeches had once been infuriating, but Hilda was starting to find it more endearing than anything. Edelgard dug a nail into the soft skin of Hilda’s stomach, and Hilda yelped.

“Don’t be smart; it doesn’t come naturally. I was just considering that you’re a bad influence on me, miss Goneril.”

“Oh? Me? Influencing _you_?”

Edelgard sighed and planted a soft, small kiss on the back of Hilda’s neck. The shiver that ran through her at the feeling had little to do with the cold. “I was having a moment where I was considering how much nicer it would be to simply lie here all day, indolently,” she said, and the unspoken end of the sentence, “ _with you”,_ hung in the air like a single strand of spider silk. 

Hilda thought about it for a moment, thought about how long she had found Edelgard to be nothing but infuriating, and thought about how, right now, she wanted nothing more in the world than to pull the blankets back over them and kiss Edelgard until they both ran out of breath.

How things could change.

“I dunno, Edelgard, maybe you’re rubbing off on me too, because all I’m thinking about is how much you’ll bitch at me if I miss class too often,” Hilda teased, giggling. She rolled over to face Edelgard, so the two of them were lying almost nose-to-nose, and she could see the little smile hiding behind her girlfriend’s scowl. “Edelgard. Your name is so long. Takes too long to say.”

Edelgard arched one eyebrow, scoffing. “I knew you were lazy, Hilda, but too lazy to even say my whole name? That has to set some sort of record.” The corners of her mouth curled up into a sadistic little smirk of the sort that made Hilda flush in anticipation of what was to come. “If it’s really that hard for you, I know some ways we can get you to practice.”

Her hand, now on Hilda’s back, slid up her spine to the back of her neck and then into her hair, where she gripped a fistful and held tight. Hilda’s eyes went wide, and she gasped in surprise. “Hey, whoa, hold on. First thing in the morning?”

She pulled Hilda’s head back, exposing her neck, and leaned in closer. “I simply wish to make the most of the time available to me,” she said, her breath hot and heavy, before planting a warm, firm kiss on Hilda’s throat. Hilda closed her eyes and groaned softly.

“You...hm,” Hilda started, then trailed off with a sigh as Edelgard kissed her again, further up, under her chin. “You make it sound like we’re running out.”

Edelgard tilted Hilda’s head back down to look her in the eyes, then kissed her full on the mouth, slowly, languorously, as though she were trying to imprint Hilda’s lips on her own. When they pulled away, she spoke again, and Hilda swore she could hear just a little twinge of something darker, something hard and deep and sober behind her words.

“You never know, Hilda,” she said quietly. “It’s hard to say how much time we have with the people we lo-” 

Edelgard bit her lip, closed her eyes, and took a deep, slow breath before opening them again.

“-the people we care about. So I suppose if you insist on saving time and breath and using your mouth for things other than chattering…”

“Yeah?”

“You can call me El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to come talk to me about sappy nicknames, catch me on twitter @spiderlilywrite


End file.
